Bitter-Sweet

Chapter 6: Up and Down

Ma boi TJ

TJ POV:

Getting back home, I forgot that tonight I was going to be faced with trouble. Friday nights Amber works really late leaving me alone with...them. I realised this as soon as I stepped through the front door because the stench of alcohol was very evidently present. I'm alone with them...and they've been heavily drinking. They always drink but I've learnt there's different levels. The one where they just ignore me because they're mildly drunk, the one where they'll make snide remarks at me but that's all because they've had too much and the one where.....let's just say I'm just hoping it's not the last one. I didn't say a word as I closed the front door as quietly as I could, trying to escape undetected. There was suddenly a loud crash from the kitchen that caused me to jump,  I'm always a little on edge here, I have to be.

'Shut up Ted!'

'Fuck off Carol.'

'What did you just say? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?'

Fuck. My throat closed up as I realised that I had come home whilst they were mid-fight meaning...they're at a level three. I stood frozen still as I just listened silently to the drama that was taking place.

'Give it a rest!' My dad groaned

'Yes because that's what you've been doing for WEEKS now Ted WEEKS because you only went and lost your fucking job.' Mom screamed at him.

'Stupid woman.' He spat, stumbling out of the kitchen, my mother following closely behind him.

Shit. I knew I needed to move before they saw me but I was already too late. My fathers tired face turned into a twisted grin as soon as he saw me.

'TJ!' He exclaimed laughing as he turned to my mother, 'this sick fag had been eavesdropping on our conversation dearest!'

She sniggered, hiccuping with the amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

I chose not to speak, if I mouth off I don't know what they might do...well I do know.

'Oh is he dumb too? Can't even do fucking simple math!' He laughed, slapping his knees.

Again I stayed silent.

'What's that fag? Got nothing to say?' My mother grinned, taking another swing of the flask she was holding.

Since they were asking me to speak I replied, 'I'm going to bed now.'

'What? So you can text all your fag friends?' He stumbled towards me, 'I think the fuck not.'

I knew there was no escape, my body tensed up as he shot me with the first blow to my cheek. Heat concentrated to the location of the wound and the many more that were to come after as I just let my body go numb. My mother did nothing as I got repeatedly beaten until I had a few bruises. This wasn't too bad, I mean it was, but I've been much much worse before. With each searing punch I just thought about how much I deserved it for being a screw up, a pathetic screw up that nobody even likes. I'm a bully, fag and disappointment. So I deserve what I get. There wasn't as many punches as there could have been and they left me pretty quickly, retreating to the kitchen. Slowly, I went up the stairs, trying not to focus too much on what had just happened. But I did. Throwing my bag onto the floor of my room, I shut the door, tears filling my eyes as they began to wet my bruised cheeks, cooling it down. The more I relived it, the sooner my silent tears turned into uncontrollable sobs. Sure, I was used to it but now but it doesn't make it any less painful that my own mother and father want to constantly do this to me. All the other kids at school think I'm a horrible person and wish I didn't exist and my friends surely think the same. Amber doesn't give a shit about me, if she did she would stick up for me. There's only one person I could count on. I looked at my phone and saw he's sent me a message a while ago. I smiled though tears were still rolling down my face. I replied to him and started a conversation which began to calm me down. Just the adorable wording of his texts were enough to make me happy for what felt like the first time in a while. It was getting late and he said he needed to sleep so, to my disappointment, went offline. Moving to my desk, I decided to write about today, it's the first time I've wanted to bring my real life to my writing. My hands were still shaking from what my father had done to me and I had, without realising, started to cry again. Wiping away the tears, I just tried to focus on Cyrus. At the time, I wasn't actually too happy that he was there...I thought:

'Perfect, yet another things to piss me off.' Hopefully he would leave soon, I leaned against the wooden structure and watched the boy closely. His chocolate sad eyes looked down at the floor, brown hair perfectly styled and he clearly had fashion sense. 'Damn he was actually pretty cute.'

Up and down

Felt pretty down till you pushed me up

Like swings

Emotions flying as you smiled

Flustered beauty disguised

Haven't felt like this in a lifetime

I didn't know what I was writing meant really, it was just a bunch of random sentences that didn't really make too much sense together. But it was just how I felt, my thoughts tend to fly around as does my emotions. To me they made sense but to the blind eye? Utter gibberish. I was also very tired, there was no point in me even trying to get any sleep since I was so shaken.

Cyrus POV:

Like always, me, Andi and Buffy were walking to school together that morning. Me and Buffy met up to go meet Andi at hers so I had to try and push my feelings aside to have a regular conversation with her. I'm used to it by now like everything else so it wasn't too much of a challenge. But like the optimist I am (although I can be pretty pessimistic when it comes to it) I decided to bring up the very controversial topic that is TJ Kippen.

'So about TJ.' I watched her expression turn to aggressive confusion.

'What about him?' She stopped walking.

I paused, 'I mean if you get on the team...you'll have to get on his good side, right?'

Buffy started walking again knowing it wasn't anything to do with him being nice, 'I guess...but I just can't stand him! He's so sexist!'

I scrunched my nose in disagreement, 'I don't think he's being sexist, it is a boys' basketball team after all.'

She shook her head, 'You don't know that.' Before I could argue she added, 'I don't know either, we both don't know. Until we do, let's not argue, ok?' She put her arm around me.

I smiled, 'ok'