Bitter-Sweet

Chapter 27: Fine

Thankyou so much for getting me to #1 on the Tyrus hashtag, I love you all and I'm so happy rn :)

TJ POV:

Today was not a good day. I knew that as much. I don't even know how to explain it. It was like from the moment I woke up, everything has been discoloured, monotone. My emotions were at their all time low and I didn't even know why, everything was great, I'm the problem. The good news was I hadn't had a bad dream, so I called them, that night yet I somehow still managed to wake up in a bad state. I found myself staring down at the visible old scars on my forearms, I hadn't cut since I moved, I hadn't felt like I needed to. Until now. But then I didn't know how I would get away with it here, at my old house no one seemed to care what I did but here I feel like I'm being watched. Which sometimes I appreciate since no one has ever cared enough to do so but other times it's kind of annoying. I sighed, having no desire to move any time soon if at all. My phone vibrated on the new beside table CeCe had bought me, I reached my arm out, taking it and squinting at the notification.

Cyrus💛: Hey sleepy head x

I stared at the message for a moment, I should reply to him...I want to reply to him it's just.....I can't explain it. Putting my phone down on the bedside table again, I let my body sink further into the duck feathered basketball duvet. It only felt like a few minutes until my phone buzzed again, I picked it up to see it had actually been 2 hours since I looked Cyrus' notification.

Cyrus💛: Just want to make sure you're ok

My heart ached as I put the phone back, turning over on my side to face away from it. Throughout that day, I heard many buzzes from my phone but I just laid there doing nothing, thinking, feeling. I wasn't sure what was wrong with that particular day, I just remember waking up, laying there and then going back to sleep.

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It was nearing the end of the school year and today was one of the last I'd ever spend at Jefferson Middle School. My eyes were glued to the dust covered floors as many people walked past me with unfriendly glares that I ignored as usual. I wasn't even focusing on what I was doing and I didn't know where I was doing. I just walked to my locker and got out my books before walking away again, not even realising what I had just done. I forgot things moments after they happened. I felt as if someone else was controlling my body whilst my mind was elsewhere. It wasn't until I sat down at our table when it was lunch that I was finally broken out of my trance.

'Are...you ok Kippen?' Marty asked, shaking my arm as I jumped, almost falling off the bench.

'Oh yeh, yeh I'm fine,' I nodded, taking in my surroundings, I don't even think I realised that I was at school until just now. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Just then, a tray slammed down onto the table making me jump again, my eyes widening in fear. 'You're a dick TJ,' Buffy said through gritted teeth.

My feelings dampened, I didn't even have to know why she was mad at me, staring at the table I said quietly, 'I'm sorry,'

Buffy's expression softened as she sat down, looking at me in confusion as she clearly expected me to ask why.

Andi sat down and also glared at me, 'Do you have any idea how much of a jerk You are?'

I finally met their gazes, both of them being taken by surprise by my gloomy look at I just said, 'Yeh, I'm sorry,'

I absentmindedly got up from my seat and left the lunch hall, making my way through the corridor, then straight out the reception. Was I even living? I couldn't tell if I was actually dead because it definitely felt like it. Why was I so down? Before I could step a foot outside the premises, a voice appeared behind me.