Disconnected | Michael Clifford

four - felicity

A slither of hope flitted in Felicity's chest when she saw Michael had Tweeted.

After all the time of ignoring her calls, even the texts from her band asking if he wanted to have a boys night out, he popped back into reality, if only for a moment.

Felicity though that maybe, just maybe the fact he Tweeted meant he would answer her calls but only twenty minutes after he put the statement of song writing online, his number went straight to voice-mail.

So, she gave up on trying to directly contact him. She cared, she wanted to know how he was doing and she got the information from Calum and even Ashton every once in a while but she still wanted to hear the words from Michael himself.

Then, she really clicked on what Michael had said online, he and Ashton had wrote a song and that meant, the lyrics will tell Felicity all she could need to know. She didn't mean to assume the song was about her, about what she had done but she was pretty confident it was. All she had to do, was wait.

It was a couple of weeks later that the song was released and they called it If You Don't Know.

As soon as the link was up, Felicity clicked it, having being warned by Calum that it was going live. But only half way through the song, she had to turn it off. She couldn't handle it.

Michael was hurting a lot more than she realised, more than she ever could've prepared for and it tore her to shreds hearing how he was feeling. She expected to feel bad but not as if the world was crumbling around her feet.

"Are you fucking serious?" She sobbed into her phone as Calum answered.

"Are you crying, Felix?" He responded, his happy mood dropping straight into worry as he walked out of the living room to sit on the stairs so Luke didn't question him.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me he's this bad?" She asked. "You're supposed to keep me updated, Calum!"

"Don't blame me, you're the one that caused this." As soon as the last syllable left his lips, he regretted saying those words. "I didn't mean to say that." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"But you meant it." Felicity wiped at her eyes as she tried to calm down, feeling anger rising at Calum's words. She knew they were true but she never expected Calum to say it, Ashton maybe but never Calum.

"No, I didn't-"

"Save it." She took a deep breath. "It's a good song." She mumbled and hung up.

"Fuck!" Calum yelled throwing his phone down and getting up, walking straight out of the house and to Felicity's.

Felicity only took a moment to decide that she needed to write a song back, she knew it was the only way Michael would listen to her words, if he heard a song. She didn't want anyone's help though, she closed her door and sat in the centre of her floor, guitar on her lap and notebook in front of her ready.

***

Isaac opened the front door to a red faced, panting Calum.

"What's up?" Isaac asked confused as Calum pushed past him and headed straight up stairs but the drummer didn't find offense in it, he figured something had happened between the two bassists so he just let it happen.

"Felix." Calum panted as he knocked on her door.

"Yeah." She responded, surprising Calum with both her tone and the fact she was talking to him.

Not wanted to risk setting her off again, he took caution entering her room and shutting the door.

"What're you doing?" He asked softly, back against the wood as he looked at the girl who was busy rushing pen over paper to get ehr thoughts down.

"Responding to him."

"With a song?"

"It's the only way he'll listen."

For a few minutes, neither said anything, Calum just watched her write and pluck at the guitar, finding the perfect song to present her feelings.

Eventually, he sat down with her but still, they didn't talk. He just read what she had already completed and changed a few words to things he thought would sound better.

In total, it only took Felicity an hour to complete the song and have it perfected, Calum's stamp of approval on it.

"Do you want me to get the guys?" He asked pointing to the door.

"No, this is my song." She licked her lips. "If anyone but me performs it, it doesn't mean as much and I need it to mean everything Calum, I can't have him ignoring me anymore. I deserve it, I get it but I just can't."

"Do you have a camera?"

"Desk."

Calum got up and headed to her desk to pick up the camera from on top before returning and turning it on.

Knowing that Calum was going to record her playing, Felicity got ready, giving herself the once over in the mirror. Even though her eyes were still slightly red and her voice not at it's best, she still went ahead with the video, deciding it was a "now or never" moment.

After a few different recordings, Felicity set about editing it, cutting out all the extra bits that weren't needed and then like that, it was up on her personal YouTube channel that she hadn't used in years and linked on Twitter, no explanation, it was just there.

"Do you think he'll listen to it?" Felicity asked joining Calum on her bed, cuddling into his side.

"He's been on Twitter the past couple days so I think so but if not, I'll make him."

"No, don't force him."

"But he needs to hear it. If I was him and heard that song, I'd run right over."

"But you're not. He's him. Michael Clifford, stubborn bastard." She pulled out her phone and went onto Twitter only to be greeted with a bunch of hate messages from 5sos fans that had figured out their new song was about Felicity and wanted to let her know just how much they always knew she was the worst thing for Michael. "Passionate fans you've got." She mumbled.

"What?" Calum took her phone and scrolled through her mentions.

"This is fucking stupid." He grumbled. "I'm going to tell them to stop."

"Don't bother, you'll make it worse." She sighed taking her phone back and slipping it into her pocket. "lt's not bothering me anyway, it's not like they're saying anything they haven't before, it's just a lot more of them saying it now."

"They've done this to you before?" Calum asked shocked.

"Since the first day of tour but like I said, it doesn't bother me."

"Still, they shouldn't be doing it."

"Cal, just leave it, seriously."

"Alright but if it gets worse, I won't."

"Fine, whatever, just shut up I need a nap."

Calum did as instructed knowing by the look on Felicity's face she was worn out after the day's happenings.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep and when he was certain she wouldn't wake, Calum got up and left, knowing he needed to be back to Michael.