the period project

rant ninety-three: first period

anonymous 

Hi people of TPP. I'm not on my period right now, but I am about to enlighten you with the story of my first period.

So I was sitting in school, right? And I'm doing my math work and just kinda sitting there ladeeda dumdeedum yay math homework then that's when I feel it, I felt like I peed my friggin pants.

Of course I was like WTF so I was like MS JACOBSEN CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM and she's like sure whatever I don't give a fuck (she didn't actually say that part)

So I had to walk DOWN A HALL and UP THE STAIRS and DOWN ANOTHER HALL and then DOWN ANOTHER FUCKIN HALL then FINALLY TO THE BATHROOM. So I walk in and into a stall then I check and I'm like oh shit.

Then I had some random luck because my best friend Karen walks in talking to someone else. So I walk out of the stall and I'm like KAREN. DO YOU HAVE A PAD

So then this other girl STARTS LAUGHING HER ASS OFF.

So Karen gives me a pad all is well yada yada blah blah happy ending. OR SO YOU THINK

So I walk DOWN THE HALL then DOWN ANOTHER HALL and DOWN THE STAIRS and finally DOWN THE OTHER HALL to my class all while I'm bleeding out of my vajay

So guess what THAT ONE RANDOM GIRL THAT WAS WITH KAREN YEAH SHE TOLD THE ENTIRE FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL ABOUT IT.

MY CRUSH WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID "Hey I heard about your bloody vagina haha sucks for you" and I was like OLIVER YOU BITCH

So now I will jump off a bridge. Kk. Bye people. It's time for me to eat everything in my kitchen.