Don't Go [Muke Clemmings]

Chapter Fifteen

so I finally have 400 reads on better than me so I can update this now

I'm so scared one of my friends isn't answering me and the last time we texted she was talking about suicide I hope she's still alive she told me I saved her and if for some reason that's not true anymore and she did kill herself idk what I'll do :'(

Luke

The next Monday, I went to school and searched for Jamie. I had to talk to her about what had happened at the party while she was passed out on the couch.

She wasn't there. I never saw her at her locker between classes, she wasn't at our table at lunch, and since she was a junior (A/N: I'm American, so I don't know shít about the Australian school system, sorry. basically, she's one year older than Michael and Luke), we didn't share any classes. Michael didn't seem to be there either. By the end of the day I was really worried, especially since neither she nor Michael was answering the phone, so when I got off of school, I went straight to her house. "Who are you?" a man, who I assumed was her dad, asked.

"Luke Hemmings, I'm Jamie's friend. Is she here?"

"No," he said, glaring at me. "You were one of the people at the party, weren't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act like you don't know."

I really didn't know. "Yes, I was at the party, what of it?"

"Are you the boy that drove her home?"

I shook my head. "I had to call my mom to pick me up because my friends left without me, now what are you talking about? Where's Jamie?"

"At the hospital." My breath hitched in my throat. What? "She took a ride with her drunk friend, and they were in a car accident." Michael.

"Damn it, I told Michael he was in no state to drive! Are they okay?" I asked, then bit my lip because I was worried as hell.

The man sighed. "Come with me, I'll take you to them."

He drove me to the hospital, where I paced around as he got the directions to her new room. He had already visited her over the weekend, but apparently she moved rooms, which was never a good sign. I also wondered where Michael was, were they in the same room or different ones? Why did he decide to drive even though I told him not to?

Oh, right. Because of me.

I was crying by the time we got to her room. This was all my fault. I was the one who took them to the party, I was the one who got Michael drunk, I was the one who screwed up the only chance of someone sober driving her home, and I was the one who upset Michael. I didn't deserve such great friends, I was the biggest fûck-up on the planet.

I knelt beside her bed and held her hand. She looked so innocent, which almost made me laugh, because I knew she wasn't. Her heart was beating, that was a good thing, but... "Is it okay to wake her up?" I asked the nurse. Jamie's Dad turned around and gave her an expecting look.

"Well, you can try if you want."

What?

Michael

"Where's Jamie?" I asked my nurse. "Is she okay? Has a blonde boy come and visited?"

"Well, there's a boy in her room right now," he answered, not even acknowledging my first two questions.

"What's his name?" The man shrugged. "Is Jamie okay?"

"She'll be fine, I'm sure."

"I know she will be, but is she?" I pressed.

"Look, kid, I don't know what to tell you. She's not dead, but she's not awake, and you can't go in there anyway right now. Your doctor is coming in a few minutes, and your mother is in the waiting room so she can come in here as soon as he's done."

I nodded.

I hoped Luke would come to see me soon. I wondered why he went to Jamie's room first. I knew he had known her longer, but that didn't mean I wasn't a little jealous. Well, whatever. She was a lesbian. If he liked her the way that I liked him, he had no chance anyway. What was I worried about?

Oh, who was I kidding, he would never like me. I was forever alone.

Of course, that's not really that long for me...

+++++

My mom came in to yell at me about how we couldn't afford this, how we would have to fast for months in order to pay my medical bills, the fine for driving drunk, and the insurance for the car that my dad had bought her before I was even born. This was all my fault. My mom did so much for me, and how did I repay her? By illegally drinking, crashing the car, and hospitalizing myself, not to mention one of my best friends. I hoped she was okay. What if she wasn't? I was the one responsible for Jamie's condition, whatever it was. I was the one who got mad at Luke, I was the one who overreacted, I was the one who chose to drive when I obviously shouldn't have even been walking, and I was the one who took her with me. I was a terrible person.

My mom realized how upset I was and hugged me. "I'm sorry, Mikey, I love you and you know that, but we just can't afford something like this right now. I'll find a way to pay it off."

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed to both the woman in front of me and the girl in another hospital room, somewhere.

"Michael, I have to go to work now, is that okay?" My mom worked three jobs: one during the day, when I was in school, one shortly after, and one on weekends. I wasn't one of those kids who got jealous because she had no time to spend with me, because I knew she needed to do this.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow."

Not two minutes after she left, in came a sobbing Luke with my nurse. I had honestly never seen him this upset. He fell to his knees in front of me, jumbled words falling from his lips. I thought I caught the words, "I'm so sorry," "Please forgive me," and "It's all my fault" in there somewhere.

"What's wrong, Luke?" I asked, patting the bed beside me to tell him to sit. He didn't.

"It's... it's Jamie." My eyes widened. What about Jamie? "She's in a coma. They haven't been able to wake her up, and they don't know if they ever will, and it's all my fault!"

A few tears started streaming from my own eyes. "Lukey, it's not your fault. I'm the one who overreacted, and I'm the one who crashed the car. I don't know why she took it harder than I did," especially since she has a normally-functioning body, "but it's most definitely not your fault."

"I shouldn't have lied to you," he cried. What now?

"You lied to me?" I asked, trying to still sound soft and gentltle. I didn't want him to feel bad, but I was a little upset. "hy?

-I didn't want to go further. It d-didn't feel right. You're a guy, you know?" He wouldn't look at me.

"I'm sorry for kissing you..." I muttered. Damn it, he knew I liked him now.

"I'm sorry too." He got of the floor and sat next to me, pulling me into a hug. I pretended it didn't hurt because I didn't want him to let go. "Friends still?"

I smiled as widely as I could while my best friend was on the verge of being dead, so not really at all. "Always."

ik ik this was short but um yeah well bye

- <3 rach <3