Don't Go [Muke Clemmings]

Chapter Twenty Two

A/N: so yeah hi I'm sort of excited bc this now has 3k reads and that's God damn cool

Michael

I thought about what Jamie had said for a long time. Did she just mean that I should have hope in case he changes his mind at some point or does she know something?

NNo, it's probablably the first ne; if she knew something, she ld tell me, right?

I laid back on my bed just a little too quickly and hit my head on the headboard. I had a bump on the back of my head, but it could have been worse. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the stars I had put up when I was 10. I had wanted to be an astronaut. I guess that would never happen now, would it? I knew then that I was dying, but it didn't bother me as much when I thought I had at least ten years to live. Now, who knew? I could die right then...

Realizing what I was doing, I started moving and breathing as rapidly as I could. Just because I could die didn't mean I wanted to. When you don't have much time to live, life suddenly becomes more valuable. A lot of teenagers these days in situations no worse than mine were suicidal, seeing no point in living. For me, that wasn't the case. Sure, Luke was my only friend and I was bullied every day at school for being gay; yeah, I had no money and sometimes I would have to wait for my mom's next paycheck to even eat, but hey, at least I was alive. At least I had one friend. At least I had one parent who loved the crap out of me. If I died, at least I would die happy, but I didn't want to die. Who knows what lies beyond the grave? I didn't. I didn't know if I would even have a mother there, let alone one who would give her life for me. I didn't know if I would have a best friend, especially someone like Luke, because he's a unique person, not to be found anywhere else in the world, or any other world that may be out there. Sure, if there was a paradise made specifically for me, he'd be there, but only what I remembered of him. He would never surprise me, even if he did do something unexpected I wouldn't truly be surprised. Worst of all, he could never change.

It's not that I want Luke to really change, he's perfect the way he is, but... he can only be perfect for a girl. Some lucky bítch will get his perfection, not me. Never me. I guess everyone wants what they can't have. Poor people want to be rich, rich people want to be immortal, immortal people want to die. I want to live, at least until I'm an adult. I want to be left alone by the bullies at school, or even better, be treated like a person. I want love. I want Luke.

I bit down on my lip as hard as I could without breaking skin and cried myself to sleep.

Luke

I read the last diary entry yet again. It kept changing, but it was still the last one, which wasn't a good sign.

I'm going to die soon, at least that's what the doctor says. I wasn't supposed to hear it, but I did. Surprisingly, I'm almost okay with that. I've survived almost ten years since I made my list, and I've done four of them. I'm only almost okay with it, though, because, well... I haven't made someone fall in love with me yet, and I don't think I'm going to. I mean, who would love me? It took me about 8 years just to make friends, and only one of them is a guy. The worst part is, he's a straight guy, he's said so himself. I don't think he'll fall for me, even though Jamie has once implied that he might not actually be straight, I think he probably is.

She did what?

And it would take forever to get a stranger to like me.

Well, it took you a few months as a ghost, it would probably take even less as a human.

I don't know what's going to happen, then, because when I made that list when I was 8, Dr. Henklish told Mom that these wishes would keep me alive. So how come she's saying now that I'm about to die? I'm not ready. I haven't completed my list yet. I don't want to d