Don't Go [Muke Clemmings]

Chapter Six

Luke

"So what did you do to get over her?" I was talking to Sara about some girl she used to like. She apparently waited for months for the girl to agree to go out with her, but when she had waited as long as the girl had told her too, the girl liked someone else.

"I don't know. Mostly I played Minecraft, obsessed over band members, read a lot of fan fiction, and focused on my work when I was at school; basically, anything I could do to get my mind off of her until I could finally think of her without it hurting."

"I don't even know what Minecraft and fan fiction is."

"Are." I gave her a look. "Sorry, it bugs me."

"But what do you suggest I do?"

"I don't know. Are you really sure you want to get over this mysterious Michael?"

I laughed at the way she phrased that, then stopped and looked at the ground. "No."

+++++

"I'm sorry," I said aloud. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I forgot that you could hear me. I know that doesn't make it okay... but, God, Michael, I'm just so scared. I don't want to fall in love and have you ripped away just like that."

"Then why didn't you listen when I told you to just not tell me?" Michael's voice said. I looked up, and he was gone.

"Because..."

"Why..." Michael's voice broke for a second, giving me time to find him in the corner of the room, sitting with his arms around his knees. "Why did you tell me it was okay?"

"Michael..." I stood up and started to walk to him, just to watch him disappear. "I'm sorry, I'm not good with feelings. I thought I would be fine, but as soon as I started to fall for you, I knew I really wouldn't be. At all." As I said this, Michael appeared right in front of me. "Okay, you're starting to freak me out a little bit now."

He smiled. "You're falling for me?"

"I don't want to..."

"Oh." The smile on his face disappeared as he looked down at our feet. "I guess I'll leave you alone then, so you won't." And he was gone.

"Damn it, Michael, you never let me finish a single sentence without assuming I want you to leave! As I was going to say: I don't want to, but I feel like I need to. I need you. I know it's just going to kill me when you leave, but you also made me happy, truly happy, for the first time in my entire life. I'm not in love with you yet, but I know I will be, and I don't care if it hurts me anymore because I know you need this, the only way for you to move on is if someone falls in love with you, and the only other candidate has a girlfriend. I know you're going to be mad at me for saying this, but Sara doesn't deserve to have her heart broken like that. Me, I won't hurt anybody but myself if I do this, and at this point, I want to, no matter what happens to me."

He didn't reply. Fûck my life.

Michael

"I want to, no matter what happens to me."

I wanted to appear by his bed again and scream "I love you, I'm yours, take all of me," but I knew that wasn't the best plan of action this time. I always went back as soon as he said something, but it always ended up happening again and this time I decided the best thing to do was to leave him alone and let him forget about me. I didn't want him to get hurt and even though I could hear the pain in his voice, I knew that some was inevitable, but if I held on and let him fall all the way just to be ripped right out of his arms, it would hurt him even more.