My Muse

9

"Chaeng, do you have something to tell me?"

I asked seriously when she stopped the car in front of her house.

"Hm?"

She hummed not looking at me because she's turning off the engine.

"I felt like you're hiding something from me."

That caught her attention and looked at me. We went silent for a moment. Me, waiting for her response while she's contemplating if she's gonna tell me or not.

"If you can't tell me--"

"Yeah, I do."

We said in unison.

"What?"

I asked not because I didn't hear it. I just want to make sure I heard it correctly.

"I didn't want to hide it, Li."

She sighed and guilt is clearly shown in her eyes.

"But I have to."

She added. I held her hand and rubbed it gently letting her know that I will not judge her no matter what. That I will listen to whatever she wants to say.

"Tell me. What is it?"

I asked in a gentle voice as possible. We're always like this. We will listen to each other instead of shutting one out. We're best friends after all. We talked about things. We fight sometimes but it's part of our friendship. We grew with that.

"It's about Lim."

I raised my eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

"I know him. He's my friend but he doesn't want to me expose him yet. He made me promise to keep it a secret."

Her eyes looked apologetic. 

"Who is he?"

I asked making her look away.

"He wants to hide his identity for now and it's not my secret to tell, Li."

I nodded in understanding. I totally understand her situation. We may be best friend but there are things that must be kept to oneself not because she wants to hide it but to respect her other friend who is a stranger to me.

"I didn't know that you have a friend at school other than the people I know."

I said making her upset.

"It's complicated, Li. I'm sorry."

She apologized causing me to heave a sigh. I guess I can't do anything about it.

"Let's call it a night then."

I bid my goodbye and step outside the car. I am not upset about her. I am upset with myself for failing or to that guy who's getting more interesting by not exposing himself or to Jennie who's becoming more and more beautiful each day. I don't know anymore. Today is exhausting which is the only thing I am sure of.

--

3 days later

It's finally the opening of intramurals. We will be performing in the open court where a lot of students will come. I already know that because I am one of them since freshman year. But today is different. I will not be standing in the crowd. I will perform on the stage for them and for myself. Pitches Clef will perform before us and I wonder what they are going to sing. Chaeng said it was better to know it at the exact time of their performance. No one knows about it even me, her best friend.

We are already at the backstage with them. They are 8 girls including Chaeng. I know all of them actually. The members include Joy, Wendy, Jihyo, Yeri, Nayeon, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung. Dahyun is Irene's friend I have known from Jisoo's birthday. Joy, Wendy, and Yeri are my classmates in history. Jihyo and Chaeyoung are the oldest members of Pitches Clef. Nayeon is Kims' friend who's popular in Bio department. Her lunch schedule is different that's why she's not hanging out with us during that time.