Before he could even open his eyes, he knew where he was. Slow to the anger coursing through his veins, he made sure to control the rate at which it overtook his body.
Just as he had been ready to open his eyes and question the suspect grabbing hold of his hand, seemingly for dear life, his ears tuned in to the soft cries that supplied the moisture that had accumulated on his hand.
"Please.. Please come back.. Please.."
He knew to whom the voice belonged to. And even if he hadn't recognized the voice, surely he was certain that he would recognize the cries.. The same cries he had heard from that night. The night he wishes he could erase or fix.
The night, he believes, he should have died instead of 'him'.
But now was not the time to dwell on such matters. He needed to know why he was here.
"I told you not to call an ambulance." His coarse words perfectly displaying his cold mood. Hopeful of what what he had been hearing, he lifted his head.
"Y-you're awake." He heard him breathe a sigh of relief. Silence followed as he did not like to repeat himself. "You.. I was losing you.. I couldn't just let you go."
"Nothing lasts forever, Jungkook." Sniffling and cleaning up his face in one swipe, Jungkook's face hardened.
"Yeah, well, that's just not something that I want to witness." He sternly said knowing fully well what he had meant. "I've witnessed it too many times and I-.. I can't risk that being you too.."
Finally opening his eyes, he fixated his gaze towards the ceiling, though his mind remained somewhere else.
"I've lost too many friends and whether you like it or not, if I can help it, I refuse you lose you too."
"Death happens. Get over it." Taken aback by his words, he nodded after a moment of silence.
"Then I guess it means nothing to you when I say that Taehyung is dead, right?"
He could've sworn he heard a bullet being fired. He laid there as he embraced the pain that now filled his chest.
"He was murdered when he-."
"I don't want to hear about it."
"Why? Is it painful?"
"About as painful as it was when he was alive.."
"Listen. I am not lying to you-."
"I never said that you were."
"Listen to me! Whether you like it or not, you and I are friends. Taehyung and I were the best of friends until the day he died and you.. You have been his loyalist friend since before you even knew me.." The tears began to pour down again as he stood there in the midst of his confrontation. Waiting.. Waiting for the expected answer that never came.
"And that's where you're wrong." He started. "Taehyung and I have never been friends. Though it gave him pleasure to call me that. And you? You think that you're my friend and in debt to me because of the day I saved your life. But have you forgotten that it's the other way around? That the reason why you're alive right now is not because of me?"
"Stop it."
"Jimin is the one who did it."
"No. Stop it!" He covered his ears.
They could both hear the gunshots and see the blood that painted the streets from that day.
"You seemingly have forgotten about the real one who risked his life and even died for you."
"Stop it!" He cried. "J-just s-top it.." The tears pouring down his face as he found false satisfaction in watching him crumble.
"How long has it been since you last visited his grave, Jungkook?"
"I WANTED HIM TO LIVE!"
His screams silenced him. Tears painting his hands just as much as the blood did that day when he held 'his' body.
"I never meant for him to die. In fact, I never wanted any of us to die!" Sniffling to clear the air for his stuffy nose, he continued. "Jimin was my best friend who took a bullet for me, but don't you DARE for a SECOND think that I could ever forget about you!" Pointing at the trigger of his pain, he quickly wiped more tears away. "It was you who first hid me behind you that day! And you who shot him so that he wouldn't try to shoot me again! And even before all that, you took me in and showed me a brotherly love that goes beyond the drinking culture that Bangtan had! You and Jimin both!" His head was throbbing, but he didn't care. He kept going. "You took care of me when I had no friends. In fact, you were my friends when neither of you had friends either.. Now I visit Jimin twice a week and I used to say hi to Taehyung whenever I would pass by to go to your house. Hell, I'd even bought him dinner when I had the time. Even if I didn't, I'd still give him some money. But as for you?" He shook his head in pain. "You have never, since that day, allowed me to even do half of the things I've wanted to.. and you won't even give me an answer as to why. But that's okay. Because I've never even needed as answer as to why."
The air was still and he now knew that he wanted him to ask him..
"Why?"
"Because I know that every single time you see my face, you can't get it out of your head that I'm a reminder of that day. That I am the sole reason as to why you don't have your other best friend anymore. And I could never replace him. I know I can't and I don't want to. But right now, I want to be able to do more than just protect you." And again, it was his turn to ask,
"Why?"
"Because you are my friend. Just as you were Taehyung's. Whether you admit it or not, you and I both know that your relationship with Taehyung was never fully tarnished. And how do I know? Because relationships never truly die until they do. For there's always room for repair. And even after death comes mourning. And mourning is a sign of love which is all that remains of what we had."
He approached the door but paused. "Don't do this to me again. Just think about me for once. Just this once when I ask you to find your reason to live.."
YOU ARE READING
The Quiet Sin
General Fiction"It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams." ~ Gabriel García Márquez Growing old is the mind of the damned, and the damned one is 'me'. The world doesn't want me this way...
