Insecure✅

Twenty-Five

Kenzie's P.O.V

"Could we go to Downtown Toronto?" I ask him. 

"Sure," John replies then looks at me excitedly.

"Oh, my gosh!! I can take you to TIFF Bell Lightbox," He squealed like a little kid.

"What's that?" I question.

"So, technically it's a movie theater where you can watch some of the most salient new films from both local and international, where you could see new actors and familiar faces," He explained. 

"That's so cool," I exclaimed. 

"And, then later we could go to the Eaton Centre, where we'll," He stopped and looked at me. 

"Shop 'till we drop," I finished for him. 

"That's my girl," He kissed my forehead. 

"Always," I whisper softly. 

I felt guilty saying that. I don't deserve him. 

"Babe!" John snaps me back to reality. 

"What's wrong?" I question him. 

"You zoned out," He informs me. 

"Oh, sorry. Hey, John, wouldn't it be better if we stay in Canada longer?" I played with his hair. 

"No way! You're kidding, right?" I shake my head. 

"Of course we can stay here longer! I love you, I love you, I love you." He repeated 'I love you' another hundred times, kissing my face, all over. 

"I love you, more," I whispered, guilt filling me. 

"Kenz, we're here." Johnny shook me a little. 

"Oh," I turned to him, "Did I fall asleep?" 

He chuckled, "Yeah, hun, you've been sleeping for quite sometime."

"So, have you been to the TIFF Bell Lightbox? Or, have you just heard of it?"

"I went once as a field trip in 4th grade. But, as a family, no." He explained grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him.

"Oh, okay," I nodded as he paid the driver for the ride. They're so expensive now-a-days. It's crazy!

"So, what was the change of heart for? I mean you wanted to leave. But, now you want to stay? I just don't understand."

"I don't know," I chuckled, slightly.

"I just-you seem really happy. And I love seeing you happy like this." I continue. 

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When we got back to the house it was loud. It was festive,  it was amazing. It was something that came out of Hallmark movies. 

"John, what's going on?" I asked tugging him closer to me, and slightly confused.

He scratched his head, "I don't know, babe."

"After you," He opened the door.

The music was loud. The walls shook, the floor felt like a tornado happening, there were teenagers walking around like they owned the place with red plastic cups in their hands. I was utterly confused.

"What the hell..." John whispered.

"Lauren!" Johnny shouted through the music. Being oblivious to the fact no one could hear him. Especially not Lauren. No, Lauren wasn't even here. She was upstairs when we found her.

Making out with William.

When John burst the door open I knew she was going to be pissed. Trying to tame him back, didn't help. He kept going at it. He kept yelling at her, I understand why he'd feel this way, but, kids now a days have sex on their first date, even before that.

Lauren just wanted to fit in.

Like I always wanted to.

While Lauren was putting her shirt back on, William gazed around the room nervously.

John sending him glares didn't help. At all. 

"John, babe, calm down. Please" I tried reasoning with him. He wasn't having it.

"Yeah, John, listen to your girlfriend." Lauren mocked.

I grew slightly annoyed.

"Why do you hate me?" I finally did it. Holy shit. I got out of my bubble. I took a step forward. I'm doing great. Wow.

"Why do I hate you? Easy. You annoy me. Your presence just makes me want to gag, you try to fit in but no one really wants you to, you're a disgrace, you've had to been disowned, if not then probably in the near future, yo-"

"ENOUGH!" Johnny yelled. I flinched. That was unexpected.

"What? Hard to take it in that your girlfriend is a nobody? Well, I'm sorry, wait, actually, that's right, I'm not." She laughed as she walked hand in hand away with William.

And I just stood there. With my own thought drowning me.

Because my thoughts are my best friend.

No one else.

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Hey guys! It's been 4 months...? I'm sorry... this chapter could've been out sooner. But, I couldn't do it. I had the worst writer's block. Everytime I wrote this chapter I'd erase all of it and rewrite it again. I rewrote this chapter about 6 times. And I hated it more and more each time. These past 4 months haven't been easy either. Insecurities have blown threw the roof. And the fact that my birthday is this Tuesday, the 19th. Doesn't help. I'll try and posting a chapter on my birthday for my other books, maybe before then, who knows? I suck at everything don't I? I know this chapter isn't what you expected, or wanted. And that's understandable. It should've been longer, it should've been better. And I promise I'll work on them to make them better. A lot better.

I hope you enjoy. I've missed you guys, loads.
I love you all, loves❤
Xoxo, Zoey