Insecure✅

Twenty- Six

Kenzie's P.O.V

I ignored when John tried talking to me. I ignored the screams. I ignored everything. I ignored the laughs coming from the world. I ignored everyone.

She was right.

I AM a nobody.

I ran to my room-John's room where I'm currently staying in- I locked the door and I cried. I cried silently, though.

No one understands this pain.

No one but me.

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WARNING real quick!!!!

These next couple of paragraphs may be a trigger to some people! Nothing does happen but the thought may hurt your mindset! Please skip it if you can not take it!

I went to the bathroom and searched for my favorite shiny object.

When I found it, I smiled,

I looked at my thighs and was about to cut, when I stopped myself.

No, stop.

You're stronger than this.

You can do this.

Be strong.

I put the blade away.

Good girl.

No, not a good girl. She should've cut herself.

No, she's doing great. Cutting herself won't resolve anything.

Yes, it would. She doesn't have a purpose to live.

What are you talking about? Of course she does, she has Johnny. He's a really good reason for her to live.

No, he isn't. He probably doesn't even love her.

"Stop," I whispered weakly to myself.

"Stop. I did it because I can't do that to myself. I'm worth more than that," I realized what I said and looked at myself in the mirror.

"I'm worth more that that," I admitted.

"YES! YES! FINALLY! OH MY GOSH!" I screamed, crying out in happiness.

"Kenzie, honey, you okay?" Johnny asked as he rattled the doorknob.

"I am, John. I'm okay," I smiled at the mirror.

"I'm okay," I mouthed.

I wiper the tears out of mg face and went and took a shower. I used a face mask on my face and felt better. I made sure there was no trace of me crying.

I made sure that the mascara I had on didn't smudge under. And since it did I wiped it off with coconut oil.

I breathed out and smiled.

I opened the door and met up with Johnny outside.

He immediately hugged me and kept apologizing.

"Its alright, John, I'm alright," I tried convincing him, but he wasn't stupid. He knew I was crying and everything.

"No, you aren't alright. I couldn't believe it, Kenz. How could she be like this? She has never been like this. Not even with the other girls I've dated. I'm just trying to reason with it, but I can't. Because you're someone I truly do want to marry. You're the one for me. Those other girls I never felt the connection for them to be the one. But with you I felt it automatically." Johnny kept explaining and explaining.

"Hey, John," He looks up.

"I'm worth it," I whispered.

His eyes widened.

"What did you say?"

"I'm worth it," I replied much stronger.

Tears trickled down his face and he took my face in his hands and missed me with so much emotion.

"Yes! Yes, baby. You've always been worth it. Now, now you're even more worth it. Oh my gosh, I love you." He kissed me all over my face and cried.

I cried along with him.

"I love you more. Sorry it took so long to realize." I apologized.

"No, no stop. You don't need to apologize. This is the best thing I've heard in a while, you are worth it, baby. You are." He kept repeating over and over again.

And this time I didn't argue, because I knew, that I certainly am worth it.

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Xoxo, Zoey!❤