Romanogers - Oneshots

Bye bye bikinis

"And what did she say next?" Tony asked incredulously. Steve was back from what Tony liked to call (behind their backs of course) the 'Romanogers Vacay', and of course, Tony had to know all the details. Something had to have happened, he thought. No way could they have been gone for nearly 2 weeks, alone, just those two, and nothing have happened. Not possible. But alas, he was wrong. Steve said nothing had happened, nothing even close. Tony was extremely disappointed. He could feel his little shipper heart breaking as he thought about it.

So here Cap was, at Tony's demand, recounting the closest they got. To anything. Or, second closest, he later found out. Which, Cap said, was not very close at all. Tony begged to differ.
Everyone knew how much Steve liked Natasha. Many claimed she liked him back. Well, Clint did, and that was good enough for Tony. Those two were practically joined at the hip.

"Then she said: Bye bye bikinis." Steve said. Tony gasped. This was more than he'd hoped for. Actual flirting?
"And you replied with.." He carried on.
Steve scrunched up his face in a cringe and covered his face with his hands.
"Then I said: Oh yeah, I bet you look terrible in them now."
Tony cawed with delight and clapped his hands together. "Aww, Capsicle. You're all grown up! Flirting? Who'd have thought!"
"I wasn't flirting. At least, I didn't mean to. It just burst out!" Steve defends himself. Tony laughs some more.
"And how did she react to that?" He was sitting on the edge of his seat.

"Do you know how much I hate you right now?" Steve looks up from his hands. Tony leans back in his seat, hands splayed upwards.
"Nobody's forcing you to answer, Rogers."
Steve groans. "She looked surprised. But unfazed. And she just kept talking. About the Winter Soldier, which I didn't really care about at the time." Steve remembered. He had wanted to kiss her then and there. He didn't tell Tony about the look in her eyes when he said it, about how time seemed to slow, that her eyes flicked down to his lips for just less than a second before adjusting herself, retreating behind her walls, and continuing talking. But it was enough. One flicker. She did care. Even it was the tiniest amount, or just the heat of the moment, she cared. And that was enough for Steve.

"And that's all? Nothing else. Two lines of flirting. Don't try and keep things from me, Rogers." Tony goads.
Steve leans back, trying to adopt a neutral expression, and trying to hold Tony's eyes. "Nothing else."
Tony shakes his head. "You're a terrible liar. Spill." The colour rises to Steve's cheeks.
"Nothing happened Tony! I swear it. That's all. Two sentences in an empty patient room."
"What am I supposed to do with you? Just tell me. You'll feel better about it."
"Stop using that as an excuse to get gossip. And why would I feel better? Why does it need to be made better in the first place?"
Tony raises his eyebrows.

"She kissed me."
Tony's mouth opens in surprise; this is more than he'd hoped for. "Woah okay, whe-"
Steve raises his hand to stop him. "But it's not what you think. We were trying to evade capture by Hydra. And it worked."
"Evidently."

Steve squeezed his eyes shut. Tony looked confused. "But you're right, why is this a bad thing?"
"I didn't say that."
"You're blushing and your face is scrunched up like you did something bad. Oh please say you didn't do something bad."
"I didn't do anything! We were on the escalator. The Hydra guy was coming up the other way. She turns round and says 'Kiss me. Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.' I go 'Yes, they do.' Then the kissing happens," Tony caws excitedly. "Don't get too excited, it was nothing special."
"For her maybe. You're acting as if Santa got you a bike for Christmas." Tony mutters. Steve talks over him.

"...the Hydra dude, as she predicted, looks the other way and we carry on walking down."
"And neither of you said anything after?"
"She goes 'Still uncomfortable?', and I say 'Not exactly the word I would use.' "
"Ooh, you two got up to all sorts, didn't you?"
Steve gives him a look.
"But I still don't understand why you look as if you ran over her cat!"
"That wasn't the bad part, I'm embarrassed about what happened later. I just gave you that for context."
"You gave me a complete run of the conversation, for 'context'."
"You're telling me you wouldn't have grilled me for it if I hadn't?" Tony shrugs. Steve exhales.

"So we're in the car later and she says she wants to ask me a question. She goes 'Was that your first kiss since 1945?' " Steve waits for a reaction. Tony is still sitting forward, waiting, until he realises.
"That's it?"
"Well no, she also said she wondered how much practice I've had."
Tony shakes his head in disbelief. "That's what you've been stressing so hard about. Oh my poor, innocent, Capsicle."
"What? She literally said it was terrible."
"No, that's what you took it as. Tell me how do you know she wasn't about to compliment you on your skills despite your lack of practice."

Steve groans and leans back on the sofa, shaking his head at the ceiling. "I completely messed up."
"Uhhhhh..." Tony makes a series of facial expressions, as if weighing it up. "...yeah." He gets up and pats Steve's shoulder as he passes. "This is progress though!" He turns, walking backwards. "Keep working on it."
"Ugh."

Just then, Natasha enters the room. Steve freezes. "Well then, what are you boys chatting about?" She looks between them.
"Ummmm..."
"Just how much fun you both had on your little trip." Tony replies, to which Steve responds with vigourous shakes of the head behind her back. He walks swiftly out the door, shouting back "I'll leave you lovebirds to it."
Natasha spins around, frowning. "Lovebirds?"
"Kill me now." He mutters, staring at the ceiling.

I don't really know what this is, I hope it's acceptable.
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