[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

11.

'Good luck boys.' I said, hugging Will, Kyle and Woody as they passed me on the way to the stage. And then Dan was last. 'Have a good show.' I told him, but not offering him the same treatment I had the others. I didn't know how to read his face. He seemed almost hurt. I just couldn't have any physical contact with him. That would be the final thing to push me over the edge.

I didn't know what I felt. Angry. Upset. Happy, even. Now the shock had worn off and I had gotten used to seeing him, the past had begun floating back. All the good times we'd had. How I felt when I was in his arms against his chest. How smart he looked as we'd got married. And then the betrayal I felt when I'd found those letters hidden away and everything came crashing down.

I'd spent the first few weeks after sneaking out of the apartment going between shelters and begging for jobs. And then, as though it was meant to be, I went into a local college to ask about cleaning jobs when I spotted a sign for music management. I applied but never thinking for a moment I'd get in. And I did. And from there, the college put me up in student accommodation, got me loans for the course and living costs. Then after a year I'd gone to university for two years and then spent a year doing an apprenticeship in theatres, festivals, anywhere that needed a helping hand with artists and stage productions.

I watched from the sidelines as they performed to a packed out venue, in total awe. My brother and my husband and their two friends blew me away. A massive sense of pride swept over me, momentarily erasing the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.