[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

8.

Once we'd arrived in Bristol and I was free of the suffocating car, myself and the guys went straight to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. I was somewhat relieved when Lily decided to go to her room and make some phone calls.

'You ok?' Kyle asked as I chased my beans around the plate with the fork. I looked up, not actually hearing what he'd said. My mind was totally consumed with worry. What if Emma found out? What if Lily did go telling people we were married? Or what if she never mentioned a thing? Like we had never happened. Like none of it had meant a thing to her? That probably bothered me the most. And the fact that bothered me the most was making me feel guiltier by the second. I'd hoped the feeling would pass over night. But it had intensified. I felt sick, like I'd been caught out on a lie, like my world was moments from blowing up.

'Huh?'

'You've been in your own world all morning. What's up?'

'Think I'm getting a cold or something.' I lied.

'Maybe you should go for a nap.' Will suggested. Maybe I should pull myself together and get my head checked. I left my breakfast barely touched and collected my room key from reception. I hit the button for the third floor on the lift and gave myself a pep talk. This was ridiculous. If I couldn't even be in a car with her for three hours, how was I going to last the next four weeks? It was my own fault. If I'd been honest with everybody about her, this wouldn't have been such a big deal. But then, she'd still be my wife and I'd still have a girlfriend at home.