[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

44.

I knew it wasn't a good idea. But it would drive me insane if I didn't kiss him. I'd fought my hardest to ignore my feelings. But just looking at him sent my knees shaking and my stomach would fill with butterflies. I wasn't even sure if he wanted this. I'd been getting mixed signals for the last few days. But then the text and the way he'd grabbed me in the water fight had changed things. His invitation to his bunk seemed like a good indicator.

It had taken all my courage to make the first move. And it felt just like the first time. My fingers began to tingle as they ran through his hair, my heart sped up a million beats a minute and I felt sick with excitement. I was totally lost in the moment, enjoying how his hands were gliding up and down my thighs, searching up past my tshirt, slowly grazing my waist. I was trying not to moan out loud, using his mouth as a gag.

I wanted so badly to pull off his trousers and have sex with him right there and then, but was all too aware that my brother was just feet away. Someone could walk past any moment and figure out I wasn't in my own bed.

'Stop.' I gasped, pulling away from him. I brushed the hair off my face, now a little sweaty from our steamy yet short embrace. 'We can't do this.'

'Sure we can, we're two consenting adults.' He leaned up to continue our passionate exchange but I held him back with my hand against his toned chest.

'I'm your tour manager. You're my charge. We can't-'

'So what? Who's gonna find out?'

'Well, no one, but I could lose my job, and you're my brothers best friend, we can't-'

'And you're my wife.' He pointed out. I couldn't deny that one.

'I just...we shouldn't...' He pushed past my defense and kissed me again, momentarily making me forget why I was protesting. 'Dan...' I sighed as he kissed his way around my throat and down onto my collar bones. I could feel the emotions start to boil up inside me. I'd shut the door to the past. It was locked. And I had vowed to never repeat my mistakes. Even though this particular mistake was driving me wild with his soft kisses and groping hands.

'Lillian?' I suddenly heard Kyle say from right outside the bunk. I could see his legs through the thin curtain inches away. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to stop any sound, any loud breathing from escaping. Dan shifted himself round so I was lying behind him and threw the covers over me. 'Dan, have you seen Lillian?'