[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

52.

'Theres a delivery here.' The driver shouted up to me, early the next morning. I was mildly confused. I hadn't ordered anything or expected anything. I came down the tiny stairwell with toothbrush in my mouth to collect whatever it was.

A man stood there with a massive bunch of flowers. Antirrhinums, cerise germini, and a single pink oriental lily.

'Mrs Smith?' He asked.

'Thats me.' Now I was more confused. I took them from him and put them in the kitchen sink after having a good smell of them. I took off the little card and read it.

'Sorry is such a little word

But it's sometimes hard to say

I hope it means a lot to you

Makes amends for yesterday

Your friendship means the world to me

What more can I do but pray

That you'll forgive my stupidity

And we'll start again today'

I didn't need to guess who they were from. I felt my heart doing a weird sort of flutter in my chest. I didn't really know what to do though. This had confused things somewhat. Did he think this was more than sex? Why would he send this beautiful bunch of flowers and such a lovely poem if there was nothing more than fun going on? Why did he have to go and complicate things? I had rather enjoyed the last 48 hours.

We needed I talk. Properly. Without anyone's trousers coming off.

'Whose the secret admirer?' Woody asked, jolting me from my thoughts as he came down the stairs into the kitchen.

'Oh, erm, no one.' I blushed. I held the card to my chest. I was glad my brother noticed my embarrassment and didn't tease me.

But moments later, I passed Dan on the stairs back up. I made a point of not making eye contact with him but he grazed my hand with his fingers and I literally couldn't control myself. I forced his mouth open with my tongue and tasted him, curling his hair around my fingers. I seemed to have shocked him with my forwardness.

'Woah.' He gasped.

'Thanks for the flowers.' I winked and carried on my journey upstairs. The poem was safely in my pocket.

'You're welcome.' He called.

The next city we were in was Liverpool, not too far from Cardiff but our good sunshine had long gone and been replaced with awful torrential rain, making the journey take twice as long. So we ended up having a lazy day on the bus, everyone in their pajamas. We'd all bought our quilts into the living arena and were all gathered on the sofas, taking it in turns to play Resident Evil. Which it turned out that I was horrendous at. Even an incredibly hungover Kyle managed to mock how bad I was.

'I don't like shooting things!' I protested as I died on screen again.

'But you're not even...like...you just stand there while you get eaten. Run!' He yelled. I threw the controller at his head. I had sat besides Dan, under his quilt. His hand was on my thigh, squeezing and drawing circles, making my stomach fill with butterflies. I didn't look at him as I bit my lip. He was teasing me, knowing I couldn't move or make a sound. So I decided to get my own back and put my hand down his boxers, feeling his erection react to my touch. I saw his body tighten up out the corner of my eye. I moved my hand up and down slowly, using my finger nails to gently drive him wild. I kept my eyes on the tv, on the boys all sat around us. And he couldn't do a thing to stop me.

The thrill of sneaking around was a turn on in itself. Little gropes when no one was looking. Filthy text messages at really inappropriate times. Sneaking kisses in the dark during stage breaks. Then I was further surprised when Dan invited me to his home during our week off. I thought this would just be a 'what happens on tour, stays on tour' scenario. But the flowers and the sorry note probably should've given that away. I'd talk to him at his place. There just wasn't a chance on the bus when there was always someone around.

The van dropped Kyle and Will off at their homes and I told them to catch up on sleep and enjoy their week off. When it came to Woody's house I told him I'd be round in a few days and we'd go see mum and dad. That just left Dan, the driver and I.

'Where to?' The driver asked us, sitting in the back together. Dan directed him to his apartment.

'I live round the corner.' I lied. Didn't want anyone knowing we were going to his house to continue our little affair.

We collected our bags from the boot, I thanked the driver and we entered the building. It felt like coming home. I hit the button for the top floor on the lift and we stood silently, hands clasped in between us.