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here we go with an update. i hope yall saw the one i updated last week before i left, because im not sure if it worked. if not, read chapter 13 first, obviously. i will update again in a few hours so have fun :)
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I spend my weekend doing the same things I always do: on Saturday, I hang out with Blake for a while who tells me about his date that went more than well. He's glowing with joy. And on Sunday, I do nothing except watch a new show.

And then Monday comes and it's another afternoon to spend at Reece's. We've talked a few times during the weekend and I honestly feel more and more comfortable with him. We're almost friends. Or loose friends.

When I sit next to him and we both work on school stuff, Reece suddenly stops. "This is your last week coming here", he states.

"I didn't realize", I reply, a bit shocked. "As if a month already passed."

"Apparently it did", Reece laughs at me and my shocked expression.

"Wow. I mean, before I had to come here I was telling myself that this month would go by faster than I'd think but that was really fast", I mumble.

Reece blinks a few times. "You told yourself what?"

"You weren't the nicest person, okay? I haven't been calling you an asshole for nothing", I say.

He stares blankly at his papers. "Was I really that much of an asshole?"

I shrug. "Yeah."

"Then I did a better job than I wanted", he whispers and I know he's talking to himself, but it makes me curious.

"Why?", I blurt out. "Why were you like that?"

Reece looks back to me. He thinks for a second and then shakes his head. "I don't know."

I scan his face and get caught by his green eyes that hide what he's thinking. I know that he's had a reason. He doesn't not know. But I accept it if he doesn't want to tell me. He's nice now, that's what matters. Only when Reece frowns I realize that I'm zoning out. While still looking at him. Good job being a creep, George. I internally roll my eyes.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day", Reece says now and admits that there's indeed a reason.

I smile. "It's okay. I don't have to know."

"Okay, but can you explain this task to me now?", he asks and we go back to the school things.

A while later, Reece stops again. "Remember when I asked on Friday if I could ask you something? I know I probably shouldn't ask so if it's something you don't wanna talk about it's okay but I've really been wondering."

I'm alarmed but I nod.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Reece looking at me and I notice how I get nervous. My hands are getting shaky.

"Are you, just straight? Because you knew the pride flag. And you're like, so supportive. It made me wonder if maybe you're a part of the community." He watches my reaction, how I'm trying to hide my shaky hands.

I can't say anything for a moment, and Reece takes this as an answer. "Sorry for asking. I shouldn't have asked."

"No. It's okay", I finally get out and close my eyes before I keep talking. "I don't know. I've been thinking about it. I've only had minor crushes, that I probably shouldn't count because they were stupid. And half of the time only me being pressured to like someone. So I don't know. I just don't know." When I open my eyes I see Reece's face and I'm glad that he gets it.

"Ace?", he proposes.

I shake my head. "No, that doesn't really fit either", I say and blush slightly. "I wish I knew", I admit.

Reece smiles. "Don't worry. Maybe read up some more."

I nod and suddenly I feel a lot better. Nothing about this conversation was bad. I've been worried for ages. I didn't really want to tell anyone about it. I only ever felt odd when talking to Blake about girls. But I never told him about it.

"Sorry for asking", Reece mumbles once again.

"No, no. It's fine." I laugh. "Seems like I give off a vibe, huh?"

Reece grins. "Maybe."

We fall into silence after that. I've really just told someone about what I was feeling. And it wasn't even bad. I still have no idea who I like, who I am, but I feel better. It's Reece I told, which is actually a bit strange thinking about it.

I look at him from the side and find him looking at me. I raise my eyebrows, like I'm trying to ask him to speak.

"Don't think about it too much. You'll figure it out, eventually."

"Eventually. Wow that means a lot", I say with a mocking voice. "You had to add that."

Reece grins. "Everything to cheer you up, idiot."

"You can't stop, can you?"

He starts laughing and shakes his head. "Obviously I can't. It's in my blood."

"That'd be an explanation", I reply.

"See? And I can't even do anything against it. Bleeding out isn't an option", he says and tries to keep a straight face.

"Why not?"

"It's a bit brutal, to be honest. Wouldn't want anyone to see that." He frowns. "And just imagine, someone would have to clean it up."

It's me who breaks first at his face, but when I start laughing he can't hold it back any longer either.

"This conversation went downhill really fast", I get out after a while. "But, you know, you could just lay into the shower. Would be way easier to clean."

Reece rolls his eyes. "Thanks for the tip."

"I'm just saying!"

"At least now I know what murderous thoughts you have", he says and starts laughing again. "The shower", he repeats. "Psychopath."

"Have you never seen a crime show or movie?", I give back. "I got taught by that."

"I prefer actual Action or Comedy but we've talked about shows enough that you should know. And by what we've been talking you rather watch that as well", he states simply, and he's right.

"Then it's simple logic." I look at him as if I really won our banter this time and he just shakes his head and laugh.

I catch myself smiling at that, and suddenly a thought makes me startle. I suddenly don't feel comfortable anymore, I'm hit by a cold realization. My breathing gets quicker, and my hands are slightly shaking again.

Reece seems to notice my change of mood and before he can ask what's wrong, I start packing my things and make up a quick excuse before exiting his room, his house, his street as fast as I can.

It can't be true. I run back home, ignore my mum saying hi. Instead I run to the bathroom. I stop in front of the mirror. I look at myself in horror. What is happening? Why did I react to him simply laughing like that? And in general, I act differently, right? No. No, no. It can't be true.

I'm not catching feelings for Reece. Not him.

I am not going to fall for him.

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