The sound of my baby's heartbeat fills the room. The lub-dub of its heart beats loud and fast. I've never heard anything so incredible. On the screen you can see my baby's tiny body. The ultrasound technician takes all the measurements and calls in the doctor.
"You're baby looks good, size is within normal range. I'd say your due date is the thirteenth of March, however because it's your first baby don't be surprised if he or she is late. First babies like to do that." Dr Flynn, my obstetrician explains.
"Thank you doctor." I say.
Dr Flynn leaves the room and the tech takes some pictures of the ultrasound and prints them out for me. Everything appears to be going well, I just hope all the tests for the baby come back good. I don't know how I'd cope if this baby had any health problems, but I can't let myself get too worked up. The ultrasound looks good, I have to remember that.
I've told Cameron's family and my family about the baby. It was a shock to everyone but it soon became excitement. I think it has been a distraction from the tragedy of his death. We all still mourn him but this baby is as much a part of him as it is of me. If this baby has even half as much of heart and soul that Cameron did we will all be blessed.
I miss Cameron so much and I wish he could've been here with me today. It makes me sad when I think of Cameron never having the opportunity to meet his child and that this child will never get to experience just how wonderful his or her dad was. But I will do everything I can to make sure my baby knows about Cameron, who he was to people and how he has inspired so many people through his kindness.
I wish my family was close, I only have my aunt in Los Angeles. I came here for a holiday when I was eighteen and pretty much never left. Sometimes I miss Australia but I made a home here. I have friends and now Cameron's family. I've thought about going back since his death but I'm not ready to let go of this place and the connections I've made. But in some strange way I'm so scared that if I leave L.A that I'll be leaving Cameron too.
I promised Libby that I would give her a photo from my ultrasound. I give her a call and she invites me over to dinner.
I spend the next few hours checking my emails and social media accounts. There is so much love for Cameron still being posted even over a month later. There has also been an overwhelming support for the foundation. It makes me feel good that people haven't forgotten him, these days people move on quickly and people get forgotten. But I don't think Cameron will ever be forgotten, he left his mark on the world.
I get ready to go over to the Boyce's for dinner. None of my clothes look the same on me anymore. I don't have a visible belly yet but I've put on some weight and my breasts have gone up two cup sizes. I put on a pair of shorts and singlet. Comfy is key at this point.
I drive over, as usual L.A traffic is terrible. I arrive and Maya greets me at the door.
"How are you?" She asks hugging me.
"I'm doing well. What about you?" I respond as we walk down the hallway and into the kitchen where Libby and Victor are cooking dinner.
"Things are good I guess." She answers.
I greet Victor and Libby. Damn it smells good in here. "What's for dinner?" I ask, I hear my stomach growl. I sit down on one of the stools at the kitchen island.
"We're having tacos and Mexican rice." Libby tells me as she grates the cheese.
"How'd you know that was my favourite?" I jokingly ask, but for real though I love Mexican food. Cameron and I went to a Mexican restaurant for our first date.
"Cam never shut up about you." Victor laughs.
"I miss him so much." I sigh as I lean forward putting my elbows on the bench.
"We all do Layla." Maya says sitting on the stool next to me and putting her hand on my back to comfort me.
"I wish he could've been here today. Speaking of which I have something for you." I say reaching into my bag and pulling out a photo from my ultrasound. I reach across the bench and hand the picture to Libby.
"Oh wow." She gasps, her eyes become glassy.
"The doctor says everything looks good." I tell her.
"That's wonderful." Victor says looking over Libby's shoulder at the photo. Maya gets up too and goes around to her parents to look as well.
Its sweet watching them look at the ultrasound. Moments like this are when I miss him the most.
YOU ARE READING
Before I Let You Go (In memory of Cameron Boyce)
Fanfiction"I've been struggling every day since his death to understand why something so random and horrible could have happen... But I do think that Cameron and I were lucky to have found each other. I loved him and I know that he was loved." Layla Grace lo...
