When you meet the one who changes the way your heart beats, dance with them to that rhythm for as long as the song lasts.
-
Lila Hamilton has to teach Shawn Mendes how to dance. He waltz's into her life, spins her life around and dips her down into...
Getting out of the hotel was the most terrifying experience ever. People were screaming my name and it sent me dizzy.
"Lila! How do you feel sleeping with Shawn?"
"Have you spoke to Jasper?"
"You slut!"
"Is shawn better than jasper?"
"Lila?" I snap out of my thoughts looking over at Shawn who sat on the opposite side of the jet. He figured it'd be safer and much more convenient given the situation to fly private.
"We're landing" he informs me then turns away looking out the window. I get my seatbelt on and just close my eyes. Shawn only talked to me if it was necessary, he was mad at me, I could feel it but I had no idea why.
This thing, I can't even think about his name it made my skin hurt, blood boil and my brain reply the memory of him. I couldn't sleep, afraid I'll wake up to him. I couldn't eat, remembering the nasty words he spat at me. I couldn't think straight without him popping up in my head. He was just there, absolutely everywhere and it's killing me mentally.
"Miss?" I look up to the flight attendant confused and then I realise we've landed. The rain pouring, lashing onto the tarmac, clouds several shades of grey, no sun in sight.
I didn't even have any luggage, all of it left in the hotel room and I was not going to risk going there again. I stepped off the plane, cold droplets greeting my hot skin. I blink a few times and Shawn stood near the car door, as I got closer his sullen eyes stick to mine, I find my self walking faster in his direction. Desperate to be in his embrace. He opens his arms for me so of course I go into them without thinking twice.
His arms wrap around me like a blanket leaving us chest to chest, his face nuzzled into my now wet hair. I could hear him smelling me. His large hands rub up and down my back as I tuck my head into his neck.
"Lila please" He whimpers into my ear, sounding so broken. "Stay"
I don't reply.
"I can make you happy, I can make you feel loved and I swear you'll never think of him again. I'll protect you and hold you whenever you want" he pleads so desperately.
I pull back shaking my head at him, pure guilt and sorrow covering my face. I cup his damp cheeks, damp from the rain and his own tears.
I'm making him cry. I can't do that to him.
"That would be selfish of me" I croak. "I can't rely on you to make me happy, I can't put all that pressure on you Shawn" I breathe out deeply keeping my watery eyes on him. His eyes become glossy and as he blinks big tear drops roll down his pale skin.
"This isn't about you... let me fix myself first"
He shakes his head no. "You're being selfish Lila, I can help. Let me love you" he literally falls to his knees holding my legs for dear life, his head buried into my stomach trying to get closer and I feel my heart break into two.
My chest tightens as I go down on my knees and I take cup his warm hands bringing them up to my chest. "How can I let you love me when I don't- don't love myself?" I ask him wearily.
His eyes flicker to my lips then eyes.
"Fine. Don't stay for me but what about Carmen and Eli or the dance studio, you're gonna miss dancing aren't you? I swear I'll dance with you everyday, I'll twirl you around and hold you always. Just please, Lila" his voice cracking toward the end.
I had no words left to say. I simply cry. Bringing his hands near my face, my forehead pressing against our cupped hands and I painfully sob.
Soon Andrew comes to pull Shawn up from the ground. I clutch his hands standing up with him.
"You'll come back to me right?" He asks sniffling. I nod completely sure of myself.
"I'll come back to you, February twenty third"
"I'll count down the days" he presses his cheek against mine. I lean into him and then press a kiss to his cheek. A long, lingering kiss.
I pull away and get into the car with a heavy heart. The windows were blacked out so Shawn couldn't see me but I saw him clutch onto Andrew. I look away feeling my heart break even further.
"Are you ready miss?"
"Erm Yeah" I lean back and close my eyes, hoping and silently praying that everything would change for the better.
- "Lila!" Taylor, my dads girlfriend ran down to the car as soon as I got out, embracing my body into a warm hug.
"Luke! Lilas here!" She shouts back then hugs me again. I hold onto her, she was a lovely woman. I knew she had been loving my dad and giving him the happiness he needed.
"Oh baby!" I pull back and rush to my dads arms. He quickly squashes me to his body and I lean my head against his shoulder.
"Taylor updated me on everything, you know she's good with the phones and everything and I don't believe a word anyone is saying about you. Shame on them" he says angrily whilst rubbing my back.
"But I'm glad you're home honey, I'm glad" He sniffles. I pull back wiping his tears.
Taylor steps beside me putting her arm around me. "We're here for you love" she kisses my temple. I smile warmly leaning into the curly haired blonde woman.
"Come on, lets go inside" dad takes my hand and we go inside.
After Taylor shows me my room in the new home they had bought months back she sat with me on the bed.
"We'll go shopping and get you all new things tomorrow" she says. I nod keeping my eyes down.
"Or we can online shop? The places around here are not very up to date" she chuckles lightly. "Yeah that's fine"
"Hey erm" she slowly puts her hand over mine. "I don't know exactly what it is that you're going through but trust me when I say I'll help you and guide you, I love you like my own"
"I really appreciate that Taylor" I lean my head on her shoulder.
"Okay come on girls, I've just set up that Netflix stuff. It's bloody great I tell you" he chuckles walking in the room. Me and Taylor let out a small laugh, he was never a man of technology.
I get up following behind them.
"Want some hot chocolate honey?" Dad asks. "Please" I nod.
"Extra marshmallows and cream for tonight" he pats my back.
I just knew coming home was the right decision. I was safe here.
- damn i really broke my own heart Also I think this is longest in any of my books where the girl and Shawn haven't gotten together
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