Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

78

Lila Hamilton
- next day

Haven wriggles around in Shawn's arms, fiddling with his necklace. My poor baby was still poorly, his nose stuffy and he was adorably clingy.

I stood to the side, waiting around like an idiot as Shawn's luggage got packed into the car. I didn't sleep last night, Shawn slept beside me but it felt like he was miles apart and now he would be, literally.

"You okay?" Andrew asks me, snapping me out of my gaze. "I guess so" I shrug. "I'm gonna miss him, it's the first time he's going away since Havens been born" I tell Andrew, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You'll be fine Lila. You've done it before without him"

I had done it before. When I was pregnant and in the middle of a crisis. Now it feels the same. It feels like he's taking my heart with him and leaving me all cold and lifeless.

"I know" I nod. Shawn then turns towards me, he nods at Andrew then walks over.

"Go to mama Havey" Shawn kisses Havens head then passes him to me. "Got everything?" I ask, looking up at him with watery eyes. He hums shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I hope this time away helps or whatever" I mumble. "I'll text you when I land" he dismisses me. He leans into me kissing my cheek then he kisses Havens nose, the small act making my knees weak.

"I love you so much Havey, take care of mummy" he says to him the he steps away. "H-have a s-safe flight"

He nods then gets in the car, I stay stuck to the side as tears roll down my cheeks. The car then starts up and I watch as he drives away.

For a minute I'm frozen in my spot, wandering what's going to happen next, will he call or text, what about when he's back? Are we a happy family? What happens then?

Then I'm switched back to reality. "Lila! Where is Shawn going?" A man comes up to me with a camera in his hands. "LA" I answer shortly, turning to go back inside.

"You're not going with him?" He asks. I shake my head no then get in, wiping my eyes quickly.

"You wanna go see grandpa today?" I ask Haven as we get into the lift.
-

"LA eh" dad places a cup of tea in front of me and sits beside Taylor who was cradling a sleeping Haven.

"Hmm for work. He'll be back in three weeks" I say like it was nothing when really this was hurting me more than I could imagine. "And you'll be okay without him?" Taylor asks.

"Of course, me and Haven got this" I chuckle softly, glancing down at my sleeping baby. God, he looked just like an angel.

"It just seems so abrupt" Dad breathes out, sitting back with a mug in his hands. "Normally you have a notice right?"

"Well I usually go with him b-but-" I cut myself off before I start crying like a baby. "It's fine, really. I'm okay"

Taylor glances at my dad questionably. "Maybe you should go out tonight love" Taylor suggests. "Get some fresh air, you haven't really been out in these last few months"

"Yeah, go call Carmen. You deserve a night out and we'll look after Haven" dad puts a comforting arm around me. "Are you sure-"

"Of course! Now go!" Dad jokingly pushes me away.

I guess a little time out will be good for me.
-

"How're you feeling?" I ask Carmen, who was sat in the passenger seat of my car.

"Pregnant" she chuckles, she was now four months pregnant and she couldn't be happier, Eli was treating her like a queen and she had all the support in the world even from me, which of course she'd get.

"Is it bad that I really want to get drunk?"

"Hell no" Carmen exclaims. "But you're still breast feeding, aren't you?" She asks.

"Yeah, guess we'll be sipping on our lemonades and drowning in our sorrows"

"What do you have to be sad about?

I stop the car in front of the club entrance, facing her with a look of despair. "He's in LA, Carmen. Thousands of miles away because of... Well I don't even know why. I don't know what I did, he's been acting cold and it's all changed within a week. He left me" I break into a sob, covering my face with my shaking hands.

"Lila, he's hasn't left you, he's coming back. We all know how much he loves you, we all know he'd do anything for you" Carmen takes my hand. My lips tremble as I try to speak but nothing came out.

"Come on, tell me what happened, was it to do with that Alex?" She asks softly.

I nod taking a staggered breath. I explain to her all that's gone for the past days and she then says, "what if you saw him with another woman? It'd break you right?"

I gulp nodding. "But I'm not doing anything wrong. I told Alex that I love Shawn and I told Shawn that nothing was happening"

Carmen sighs, she reaches over and rubs a tear from my cheek.

"Lila! Lila! What's happened!" A voice suddenly shouts making us both jump in our seats. I turn seeing a swarm of paparazzi surrounding the car.

"How the fuck did they find us" Carmen huffs, throwing her middle finger up at them. I chuckle putting my seat belt on.

"Let's just go back to mine and you can stay the night. My dads looking after Haven" I tell her. "Awe we got dressed up for no reason" she sighs.

"We can still take pictures" I say trying to drive forward but these idiots kept getting in the way. That was until Carmen rolled down her window, flashes from the cameras blinding me.

"Move out the fucking way you dicks!" She shouts then pops her head back in putting the window up. "God, what would I do without you" I laugh as I start driving away.

The way home was nice, we talked about parenting techniques, I guess I really am getting old huh. We also listened to some Taylor Swift and Lizzo to get back into our 'funk' as Carmen said.

As I pull up outside the apartment complex I spot a bunch of people already waiting for us.

"I'll give the keys to the valet and we'll go straight in, don't comment" I tell Carmen. "Yes sir" she jokingly salutes and we get out the car.

Carmen gets in first safely where as I get hounded.

"Are you and Shawn broken up?"

"Who'll get custody of the baby?"

"Where is your baby now?"

"Did you see Shawn was out last night in LA?"

I try my best to block it all out but it just seemed impossible.