It's A Long Ride Home, I'm Afraid. {Camren} ✔️

~{26}~

"Does your mom know about us meeting?"

I was in the woods with Austin Mahone. Age eleven.

Freaky, right? Because all of the bad shit tends to happen in the woods, apparently.

He was a cute boy a few years older than me, but I knew I was too young to even try and date anyone yet.

Heck, I didn't even know what love was.

Nonetheless, I followed him places. Wherever he wanted to take me. I thought he was cool, and that maybe hanging around him could get people to stop bullying me.

"No." I told him. "She's out right now. Same with my dad. We maybe have two hours before they get back."

He smirked. "That's good."

I had been absolutely wrong about him.

There were these times where he'd touch me places, and I didn't understand exactly what was happening.

All I know is that for the most part, I got this weirdly good feeling when he did it.

How was I to know I was basically getting sexually harassed by a twelve year old, when I didn't even know what the term meant myself?

If a part of me liked it, so did it even count as harassment?

I do remember the discomfort when he tried to undress me for the first time. I remember trying to get him to stop, but failing to do so. We didn't have sex or anything that time. He stopped whatever he was planning to do since we had run out of time.

Austin thought I was enjoying our secret meetings. Some of them, I did. But deep down, something about it all felt wrong.

My innocence was, in a way, taken away from me. There was no way I was ever getting it back.

And I was way too young.

Moving along, something horrifying happened when I turned twelve.

It was only a week before my mother's passing. Austin and I were alone in my room.

Recently, I had lied to my parents, telling them he was just a friend and that they didn't need to worry about anything.

I mean, they believed me of course. Normally you wouldn't expect two kids our age to be doing what we had been doing.

In a perfect world, at least.

"Camila," Austin began to say, still pronouncing my name wrong. "It's been months. Can we please have sex now?"

I frowned. "I-I don't.. I really don't want—"

"You've said that like twenty times before." Austin sighed. "You promised we could this time!"

"Here?" I replied. "I mean, in my house is kinda risky and—"

"Let's do it." Austin concluded. "We're old enough."

Old enough? I thought. I haven't even gotten my period yet.

Not to mention, I only just had the period talk with my mom.

"Austin, I really don't want to." I explained. "I'm just not ready."

Before I could object any further, Austin pinned me down on the bed.

"I've waited for you this long. I'm not waiting any more than I have to."

Panic engulfed me. My eyes widened in fear.

What was I to do? Run? Scream? Push him off?

He quickly ripped my pants off, and then took his off as well. We were left in our shirts and underwear.

I didn't understand what sex meant. I didn't know that he would have to.. have to stick that thing inside me.

As soon as I saw it, I looked into his eyes.

It was really small, just being completely honest, but it was enough to frighten me. I didn't know what was going on.

He didn't look at me in return. All I saw was a blank stare, and his eyes had gone dark.

One day I'd realize that it was a look of pure lust. There was no love behind it. Not that a thirteen year old like him was even able to comprehend the concept of love.

I kid you not, Austin was so close to actually going through with it, but then my mom walked right in.

"Karla, I'm—oh my goodness! Qué chingados!"

My mother quickly grabbed her flip flop, chancla for all of those who can relate, and came rushing towards us.

Austin was already off of me, getting dressed again. I was doing the same.

My mother came without warning. She hit Austin several times on the head as he struggled to leave the room.

"You are to never come back here, or go anywhere near my daughter ever again! You hear me, you little shit!"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" Austin stuttered as he ran out of the room.

I heard him run down the stairs and out the door, slamming it behind him as my mother chased him.

A few minutes later, my mom came back upstairs and stood in the doorway of my room.

Her gaze was hellish.

"Karla. Camila. Cabello. Estrabao." she muttered. "Qué fue eso? Why were you and that boy naked in bed?"

"He tried to put his thingy in me!" I told her. "Is that how sex works?"

She sighed, and then sat down on the bed with me.

"That's a talk I'll have with you when you're older. You don't need to know that now." She explained. "I can't believe that almost happened just now! I don't even know if I should be angry at you or not!"

"I'm sorry, Mami." I whimpered. "He was not going to be a good boyfriend, anyway. I think he never liked me like that. I think he wanted to use me."

My mother pressed her lips together, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Men are always going to use us. Let this be a lesson to you, mija. If a man hurts you, uses you, doesn't listen to you, and never truly shows you his love, he is not worth it."

I nodded.

"Are you sure we can't have that talk about sex now? I'm very confused."

My mother laughed. "Oh, Karla, sometimes it's better to not know at all. Saves you a lot of trouble."

"As I said, one day we'll talk. Not now. I'm just glad you're okay."

I had no choice but to accept that answer.

But now that I think about it, we never did have a chance to talk about it. Or any grown up lady things, for that matter.

Whether my mother walked in and stopped Austin that day or not, I was still going to find out about those things on my own.

I had no choice but to find out on my own, after all.

~