connors pov
after another 30 minutes of waiting to see y/n my mind has been racing with thoughts. if i just took her into get checked on then maybe this could be avoided. or maybe if i was home more then i could stop her from staying up for late shifts for work. a lot of this could have been avoided and my baby wouldn't be in so much pain if it weren't for me. i feel awful. i'm such a bad boyfriend.
"what's going through your mind?" y/ns mom asks
"everything that crosses it. like how this could've been avoided if i took her in earlier" i say beginning to cry for the millionth time today.
"she's having trouble breathing because signs of this could've started two days ago and i was completely blindsided and stupid" i say angrily but keeping my voice down
"connor what on earth are you talking about?" her mom asks unbelievably
"y/n has asthma and that's probably where most of the breathing issues are coming from because her airways are so backed up right now none of this was your fault and we both know that y/n wouldn't have gone in if you tried to make her" she makes a point and rubs my back
"family of y/n l/n?" a different doctor comes in. we are leaded back to the room
"you guys can go in first she's your daughter" i say politely letting them go past me and open the door for them
"no connor you go. you need to be with her right now. you both need each other"
"are you positive?" i ask unassured
"yes connor go" y/ns dad says. i go in partly because her mom is right and mostly because i'm scared shitless of her dad since the day i met him when i was 10 years old and y/n and i were friends.
"okay thank you" i say going in and closing the door behind me
"hey you" y/n says softly and quietly
"hey" i say looking at the ground, knowing if i look at her i'll break down
"come here" she says sounding confused
"i-i can't" i stutter
"it's just me connor" she sounds hurt
fuck connor why cant you do anything right for once. i slowly walk over to the chair next to her and look up with tears in my eyes. she has a tube going across her face and under her nose, messy hair, a hospital gown on and red eyes
"fuck" i mutter under my breath while breathing out and sobbing
"i'm sorry i'm supposed to be strong for you but i can't see you like this it hurts too much" i say truthfully
"i know. i wanted the tubes instead of the ventilator mask because it's big and scary and you can't hear me clearly" she says. her voice sounds scratchy and raspy
"shh your voice" i say standing up and smiling at her and kissing her forehead. we look at each other for about 15 seconds and i take a rubber band/hair tie off my wrist and put her hair in a high top messy bun so it's off her neck and out of her face
"thank you" she says
"you're very welcome baby girl"
"your parents are here" i say as she plays with my fingers
"oh go get them" i figured they wanted to see each other and i didn't want them here too late cause they needed rest too. i crack open the door and peak my head out
"come on in" i say softly to them and they come in. they say their his and talk about her symptoms. her mom suggests i go home but i know i won't be able to sleep without being by y/ns side.
after about 30 minutes, y/n gets tired again and her parents leave. y/n soon falls asleep and a female nurse comes in
"sir i'm sorry but visiting hours are over" she says sympathetically
"can i spend the night here?" i ask with pleading eyes
"um yeah can you change your clothes from outside because we don't want anymore bacteria or any type of germs here" she asks nicely
"yeah can i come back though?" i ask
"yes sir as long as you are back before 11 and check back in we can let you stay here and we'll provide a small sofa in here by the time you're back"
"okay thank you" i say. i kiss y/ns check softly making sure not to wake her up and go out to the car to run home and get clothes.
i get back to the hospital after getting the clothes and walk towards y/ns room and see doctors with the surgeon type masks across their mouths rushing around her hospital room. i instantly panic and rush in
"sir you cant be near here please go away" a nurse pushes me back as they bring y/n out
"stop! no! she's my girlfriend you can't jus-" i speak but no one is listening and everything becomes muffled and my whole body is shut down and taken over by guilt for leaving her side.
sorry for the cliffhanger i know. pt 3 coming soon!
