connor pov
once again i am sitting in this seating area alone this time. what the hell could have happened. did her breathing tube fail or something. did she pass out? hopefully she's okay. it's been 15 minutes and no one has come in to tell me what is happening. i let her parents know what was happening and they said they'd visit tomorrow.
"y/n l/n" the lady smiles at me knowing it was for me because i was the only one there
"is she okay?" i ask nervously
"her aspiration pneumonia has gotten worse. the bacteria has entered her blood stream. unfortunately this can become fatal however we caught it before anything serious and can be cured with antibiotics. she woke up with shaking chills and vomiting but she is now in bed awake so you may see her" she says trying to sound positive.
"fatal?" i ask not believing her and my breathing quickened
"we treated her so the chances of that are extremely rare and it doesn't happen often at all however it is a thing that happens because of this" she says
"she's in the same room?"
"ye-" she starts but i run towards her room
multiple people are telling me to walk in the halls but i ignore them. i find her room and turn the corner quick to see a pale y/n
"oh baby i am so fucking sorry i left" i say passionately and holding her hand as i sit on the sofa they prepared for me
"it's not your fault" she says with a raspy voice and muffled because she has the ventilator on. i'm assuming they put it on because it was not necessary.
"shh" i say kissing her temple and pulling away looking at the ventilator
"they put it on and i know it makes it look 100 times worse but i promise i'm okay connor" she says and i look at her sympathetically
"rest baby girl it's been a long night" i say beginning to change my clothes in the corner
"i'm not tired" she says
"well what can i do to make your little mind go into dreamland?" i say putting my shirt on and walking over to her
"cuddle with me" she says
"y/n id love to but i don't want to hurt you" i say unsure
"oh" she says looking hurt
"ugh how can i say no to that face?" i say and she flashes a smile and moves over.
"is this okay my love?" i ask as her head is laying on my chest. she nods and she picks up my hand and plays with our promise ring. it's a habit that y/n has when she's stressed or feeling down or sick.
the doctor soon comes in and takes off the ventilator and puts back on the tubes saying that she can breathe on her own now but they don't want to take any risks. y/n yawns
"go to sleep baby. i'll be here when you wake up" i say softy and takes down her messy bun from earlier because i know she doesn't like sleeping with her hair up
"goodnight handsome and thank you for being here for me" she says wrapping her arms around me
"forever and always baby" i say and she giggles
time passes on for the next 4 days. she's been improving slowly but smoothly. no complications in her airways since that night and she can breathe on her own. nights have been rough for me. ive cried every night since that day. i've gone home a couple times and prepared for tomorrow for her to come home. she's gotten many visits from family and friends in the hospital and we are extremely grateful for all the support and love this week.
it's currently 1 am and this is the time i usually cry. i've tried to stay strong for y/n but this week has been so rough. i haven't shot anything for shawns upcoming sponsorship that i was supposed to do this week and finish it. i'm stressed cause i haven't edited at all and all my focus has been on y/n. i still feel like i could've easily avoided this. it's hard to talk to y/n because i feel like me talking about my feelings will make it sound like mine are more important. i've never been one to open up to people.
i climb out of bed and look out the window on the door and tears start to come. god connor why are you such a baby sometimes. i try to keep my sniffles quiet but apparently not quiet enough
"connor?" shit. i stay quiet
"baby?" she asks. fuck.
"hey" i turn around
"are you crying?" she asks concerned. i cant quite see her cause it's pitch black but the tone of her voice says everything.
"go back to sleep" i say trying to sound happy and avoiding her question
"come here" she says softly
"one second just go back to sleep" i say
"connor" she says more sternly
"what baby?" i ask with a hint of attitude
"come here please" she says. i give in
"right here" she says pointing to her chest. this meant she wanted me to lay my head on her chest. this was the ultimate confession position
"what's going on in that crazy mind of yours?" she asks running her fingers through my hair
"nothing" i say sniffling
"cmon handsome it'll feel better if you just let it out" she says
"no it's really nothing" i say.
"well i'm going to tell you this...if you're stressed or overwhelmed, that's one thing. if you're still putting yourself down for me being in the hospital then that's another. so what is it babe?" she asks
"b-both. i'm sor-ry" i say letting the tears fall.
"aw baby shhh" she coos and wipes my tears.
"it's just hard and i know you're g-going through worse an-and i'm sorry but i-i-i'm so stressed and tired" i say hiccuping in between words and sucking in air, not being able to speak normally
"sh i know baby and you're being so strong for me but i need you to be open and let all the emotions out because if we are going to get married and have kids someday i need you to let out every emotion you have and go crazy about how stressed we get. we are in this together and you don't need to be strong. especially at times like these" she says and kisses the top of my head.
"i-i love you" i stutter
"i love you more baby boy. go to sleep" she says as my crying comes to an end and i drift off to the sound of her heartbeat and her tiny fingers running through my long and messy hair.
that's the end of this series i hope you enjoyed!!
