Through The Seas To First Age

Scn Maedhros helping s/o with PTSD from kin slaying

Maedhros felt you suddenly sit up in the bed and heard your ragged breathing as your sweat covered form tried to regain her bearings.

Maedhros didn't hesitate before he drew you into his arms, resting his head on yours.

"Shh, I'm here, you're safe. Nobody is able to reach you here, I'm here to make sure of that." He soothed as he brushed your sweat-drenched hair from your head. He gently laid the both of you back down into the bed. Soon he heard your breaths slow and turn gentler, showing you have fallen asleep. Maedhros sighed heavily, this was a common occurrence now since they came to Arda. You would wake up either gasping for breath or screaming, but you always looked around the room wildly, as if expecting someone to appear.

This troubled him because he hated to see you in pain and he didn't know how to help you. Night after night he would hold you while you clung to him, clung to him as if he was the only thing keeping you from falling apart in the shadows of the night.

During the day it was the same, you went from being a lively Elleth who happily spoke with anyone, to a ghost of yourself. You didn't talk unless the situation forced you to and you avoided people as much as possible. Maedhros noticed that whenever you were surrounded by people you started to struggle to breathe and your whole form tensed up. He stayed by your side as much as possible, but there were and would be times when he couldn't be there and that frustrated him. He wanted you to know that you were safe, but he didn't know how to show that to you. Then, looking at the empty teapot you had on the table, he got an idea, he wouldn't know how to help until he talked it over with you. That should help him to get an idea of what your fears truly are about and from there he would be able to help you. His mind was made up, first thing tomorrow he would speak with you.

He set up a table with tea and then walked with you to it. Today you barely spoke and had a vacant look in your eyes which worried Maedhros greatly. He feared that if this were to continue that you may eventually fade and that was something he could not bear the thought of.

"Y/n, how are you? you've been rather quiet for some time now. I am your husband, I wish to help you, but I'm unable to do that if I do not know-how. Please speak to me." He said as he grasped your hand in his on top of the table.

You looked at him in shock, you didn't realise your fear led you to withdraw from the very person who you could depend on no matter what.

"I'm sorry." You said quietly with your eyes downcast. "I didn't mean to avoid you, or anyone else for that matter. But since Alqualondë I can't sleep, the faces of all those who were killed keep haunting me! Their eyes are scorning me, telling me I have no right to live when they are dead! Then there is the curse of Mandos, I'm terrified of just what is in store for us in this foreign land. I keep wondering who else will lose their life? I don't want to lose you! That is why I have started to fear people, I now know just how easy it is for them to turn on one another!" You gasped out through heavy breathing and Maedhros was by your side in an instant, laying a hand on your shoulder while his other didn't let go of the hand he was holding.

"Listen to me, There is no curse! The Valar were merely trying to frighten us with their talk. We may be in a new land, but I am not going anywhere and I am most certainly not allowing anything to happen to you. Do you doubt my skill in protecting the one I love? We can't avoid the spilling of blood, there are those who made their choice to stand in our way and so will pay for it. I will never abandon you willingly. I know you fear the unknown but I'm here by your side, draw strength from me when you need it for it pains me to see you suffer so in silence. Do you see?" Maedhros asked as he earnestly stared into your eyes.

You stared at him in surprise, but eventually nodded."I'm sorry, I really am." You whispered as tears began to slip down your face. Maedhros just kneeled next to you and held you, offering silent comfort.

He meant every word he said, it would be over his dead body that harm would befall you and neither would he willingly leave your side. Yet, what neither of you realised, was that there were circumstances beyond anyone's control and promises made could not always be kept, for the hand of evil controlled fate.