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*A/n* - Content Warning: Brief mention of alcohol addiction/Substance Misuse.
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**** Time Skip ****
Billie was getting ready to go on stage for another night of performing. Green Day was on tour again, for their new album, and (Y/n), of course, went with them. (Y/n) had been waiting for ages for Billie to arrive before he had. It had been like this every night since before the tour started. He would disappear for a while, before returning again as nothing had happened. At first (Y/n) thought nothing of it, she thought that maybe he had been nervous, but eventually, her mind went to a darker place and started to think the worst. She told herself that she was just being ridiculous and that Billie would never do anything to hurt her, or to jeopardise their relationship; they were going to get married one day and have children. He wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
"I need a beer," Billie said as he took one out and took a sip of it as he stood in front of the mirror, his back turned to (Y/n). He had hardly said two words to her all night. "Babe? Are you alright?" (Y/n) asked, slowly standing up, and walking over towards him. She watched his whole body stiffen before he turned around with a smile on his face. "Of course I am." Billie pulled (Y/n) into his arms and kissed the top of her head. She felt his breath on her skin; it smelt strongly of alcohol; he hadn't just had one small sip. She pulled away from him. "What's wrong?" Billie asked her. "How much have you had to drink?" Instead of answering her question, he tried to turn away from her. She turned his face back towards her, but he still wouldn't look her in the eye. "Billie, look at me." (Y/n) told him, as he did so. "How much have you had to drink?" She repeated the question. He shrugged her off. "Only a bit." He mumbled.
"It doesn't look like it." She replied, shaking. Mostly with fear; it was as though history was repeating itself; first her mother, now Billie. She feared the worst; that Billie had been drinking excessively, every day. It would explain his new, and sudden personality change. "I swear." He said, agitated.
"Don't lie to me Billie." (Y/n) said, practically begging.
"What do you care how much I drink?" He snapped. "Are you suddenly my mother?"
"Billie..." (Y/n) said, shocked, taking a step back. "I care because I love you. Because I've seen someone else that I love very much do the same thing that you're doing now."
"So, you're saying that I can never drink again?"
"No, I'm not saying that." (Y/n) replied. "You can drink, but you don't have to do it excessively. Please, I don't want us to argue about this."
"Feels like we're arguing," Billie said, grabbing his beer. "I need to get out there." He said, storming out. (Y/n) chased after him. "Please, can we just talk about this?"
"There's nothing to talk about (Y/N)." He shouted behind him, before he grabbed his guitar, and walked away from (Y/n). (Y/n) stopped and sighed. "Is everything okay?" (Y/n) turned around to see Mike stood behind her. "Yeah."
"You sure?" He raised an eyebrow. "It sounded like you were fighting."
"It's over something stupid." She told him. "I'm worried that he's drinking too much, and it scares me a little." (Y/n) sighed as she heard her words out loud. "I'm being ridiculous, right?"
"Actually, I don't think you are," Mike admitted, allowing a shot of relief to shoot through (Y/n)'s body. "We've noticed it too." Mike looked just as worried (Y/n). "Just try not to worry. We'll figure it out." He placed his hand on her arm, before joining Billie and Tré as they headed on stage. Billie looked at (Y/n) one last time before the air filled with screams as they emerged on stage. (Y/n) watched on the sidelines, and she wanted to cry. She loved Billie with all of her heart, and it pained her to think that he was going through something, and there was nothing that she could do to help; that he wasn't letting her in. She watched him on stage in his element, before noticing that something wasn't quite right. Just then, Billie stopped the song and looked out into the crowd. "You, you motherfucker." Billie pointed in the crowd, before throwing his guitar to the ground, and jumping straight into the crowd. A fight instantly broke out between Billie and someone in the crowd. "Billie!" (Y/n) shouted, going to run on stage, before being stopped by Mike who had noticed you running towards the scene that was unfolding. "(Y/n), don't." He warned her as she struggled in his arms. "But Mike! He's going to get hurt."
"(Y/n), they're going to get him out." He reassured her as he kept her backstage. The crowd erupted as Billie was taken out of the audience, pulled back on stage, before being dragged backstage. (Y/n), Mike and Tré followed Billie and the backstage crew. Mike and Tré remained with (Y/n) the whole time as she felt the tear streaming down her face. The crew took Billie into another room, and closed the door behind them, leaving (Y/n), Mike, and Tré outside; all of the pacing. All extremely worried. After half an hour of waiting, the door opened, causing Mike, Tré, and (Y/n) to look up. "He's asking for you (Y/n)." One of the crew members said as the door remained open for her. Without thinking, she ran in, and the door was closed behind her. Billie was sat on the floor, in the corner of the room, crying. "Billie!" (Y/n) exclaimed as she ran to his side, collapsed next to him on the floor, and pulled him into her arms. As she embraced him, he didn't push her away; instead, he sobbed. "I'm so sorry." He managed.
"Don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I was a dick to you, lied to you, and I became the one thing I promised not to be." (Y/n) ran her fingers through his hair to try and calm him. "Over the past year or two, I've just been really overwhelmed with everything, and depressed, and drinking takes the pain away." He wiped his eyes, but more tears formed. "I didn't want to tell you, because of what happened with your mother. I didn't want you to change your mind about our future together. I didn't want you to leave me." (Y/n) kissed the top of his head. "It even got so bad, that I was taking pills with the alcohol."
"Billie, that's so dangerous." (Y/n) told him. He nodded in acknowledgement of this fact. "Listen to me." She said, calmly. "I love you more than anything in the world. There is nothing that you could do to make me leave. We're going to fix this, we're going to get you some help. I and you can survive this. We can survive anything."
"I love you so much (Y/n)." (Y/n) kissed the top of his head, as he continued to cry in her arms. She was going to fix this; she was going to help him through his no matter what.
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*A/n* -
This was not a personal attack on Billie or his experiences in the past. After spending a long time of wondering whether or not to include this in the story, I decided that it was important that I did because I believe that this is such an important subject that needs to be addressed more. You are not alone. Ever.
No hate in the comments, please
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Updated 2020
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Inner Demons || Billie Joe Armstrong
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