A Dying Flower | K.sj

Speaking Out

On the four members of bangtan's way home. Teahyung was the one to cut the silence. He asked of Sejin to not inform Seokjin's family of what happened, he knew they deserved to know about what's happening with their son but he feared that they might want to take him away from them because they would surely think that they weren't capable of taking good care of their son and the trust between them would go down for allowing Seokjin to be out in the first place and thinking that he was getting better when he wasn't.

Sejin gave the no instantly because Seokjin's parents personally spoke with him to keep them updated since Seokjin wasn't going to do that but when Hoseok and Yoongi spoke to support the idea, he started to give it another thought.

It was when Namjoon opened his mouth that Sejin finally agreed on keeping it a secret from Seokjin's parents because the reason or what triggered the whole thing to happen were the pictures the two rappers and definitely Seokjin saw. How would they tell them that they saw pictures of their son being raped? They wouldn't be able to explain anything. Seokjin himself would get more angry with them if they do tell his parents about what happened and his suicide attempts. Things would get more complicated.

Hoseok and Yoongi barely described anything they saw. All they said was that they were pictures of Seokjin being raped. Nothing more, nothing less. They didn't want to think about it or try to remember the faces or anything. Just the memory of it can fill their eyes with tears and they didn't want to add to the misery they're in by shedding tears and making the whole situation look worse. This was about Seokjin, not about them and they were going to help in making everything better.

Maybe they didn't understand of feel with Seokjin before, they thought that things could get fixed just like it was runied but in reality, the damage was too big to easily fix if that was even something they could do anymore. They weren't going to give up on their hyung. None if them could stand seeing Seokjin like that, it was beyond any kind of depression they delt with before. He changed but no one was accepting that change, it wasn't something they could just accept because it wasn't good. It wasn't Seokjin, it wasn't their bubbly, cheerful hyung whose smile and laugh used to lighten up the air.

To see a friend whose so dear to you breaking down, to see him hurt, in danger and to see the fear in their eyes was very hard. It didn't feel right. Nothing did.

Namjoon wasn't able to get his hyung's dark and empty eyes out of his mind, it was as though something in the leader broke and he started to doubt if things could actually get better, if Seokjin could live with what happened or would give living again a chance because right now, he wasn't living, not like the way they are, he was in a very dark place that no one knows how to get him out from.

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At six in the morning, Seokjin woke up. It was barely two hours since the engines of his mind stopped tiring him out but that didn't seem to be so true because surely what he saw in his sleep was his mind's doing. It was what had the shirt Hobeom got him instead of the bloodied one so sweaty.

Seokjin wasn't getting used to the nightmares or the feelings the memories came with. They were what had him avoid going to sleep sometimes but they were becoming constant and unbearable like everything around this one young man. Maybe they came from his never ending thoughts and fears but that was also something Seokjin couldn't control, his mind would just go straight to these thoughts as though as surprise was waiting but the only surprise he would get was a ride back to hell and unpleasant memories.

Sometimes, Seokjin would cry after opening his eyes and sometimes he would just sit up and stare at the wall or an object as he remembered every detail of the nightmare he had, just like today. He stared at the two sleeping figures on the couch with the faint sun rays coming from the white curtains hitting their faces, he looked at them with a shaking hand covering half of his face and pupils that shook as he stayed still in his spot. His head felt as though his heart was there, pulsing and heavier than any rock as his ears continued to ring awfully strong but not stronger than when his head came in contact with the ground. That felt as though he was out of the world for a few seconds and like an extremely bad hungover that drained his body from any hint of energy or stability.