X OUR TRAGEDY X [Senju Tobirama AU]

Chapter 44

~Tobirama's POV~

Niyo was out of it. She thought I didn't notice her little reactions of distance when I was in her presence but I did. She was alright around anija, they both knew something I didn't. I didn't even know when Niyo regained consciousness, she wasn't there when I woke up and she had been avoiding me ever since, not too explicitly, it looked normal to everyone but I knew how odd it was. Anija refused to tell me anything I asked him regarding the situation. I was reaching the edge of my patience with being kept out of the loop. I was trying to be considerate and trying to give Niyo some space with what happened – which I didn't know – but still this was getting out of hand. I was afraid to admit it but I was lonely without her.

I leaned against the wall at the opposite end of the corridor where Niyo was talking to anija and he handed he something, maybe a medicine. I planned on stopping her in the hallway and making sure she answered every question but when I looked at her, she looked really tired. Her normal straight posture was slumped, her chakra was dimmer than usual and the way she was walking made me forget anything I had to force out of her.

When she reached to where I was, she stopped and took a deep breath and took my hand in hers, much like when she asked me to marry her. "Come, I have something to tell you."

Finally.

~Niyo's POV~

"Now, I have a hierarchy of bad news so I will start with the least bad." I told Tobirama, pushing his shoulders so he would sit down on the bed instead of looming over me while I talked. I on the other hand could not stand in my place without fidgeting let alone sit with him while delivering the series of news.

"About time I'd say." I wanted to give him a look for saying that but he was right, I kept him dark when he should have been the first person to confide into.

"So um, when I...attacked you... I was under the mind transfer jutsu-the Yamanaka's jutsu, um so I am really sorry for falling prey to that technique and not being strong enough to resist or break it-I did my best, don't hate me for it I really did try my best but it wasn't enough so-"

"Calm down, I do not hate you for it." Tobirama said taking my hands in his and stopping me from actually damaging my nails and hands with the nervous force. "Were you really keeping it all in the whole week?" I nodded weakly to which his reaction was pulling me in a hug. "I didn't take you for someone who would give in so easily to trauma. It wasn't your fault so don't take the blame."

"You are important to me and to think I wasn't even strong enough to stop myself from..."

"Your chakra was already weak that day, you were vulnerable and it was not your fault." He stressed on it and I should have felt better but I didn't, not with what I still had to tell him. I shifted a little in my position so my head was resting on his chest and I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes, not feeling like telling him the other news but I had to and the more time I took to do it, I heavier it got to say out loud.

But I had to do it. He should have been the first to know.

"There is on other thing..."

"Tell me."

"Infinitely worse than the one before..." I was stalling but when I was hugged tighter, I let go of the weight of the news, letting go of the seal on my sadness as well. "I was three months through and that Yamanaka did something...and I...lost the baby..." How was I supposed to look him in the eye when such a thing happened? My soft sniffling was the only sound in the room when I was done speaking. Tobirama's chakra spiked to inhuman volume before settling to a low flame I couldn't detect with the confusion and disturbance in my own chakra. "I'm sorry..."

I didn't want to look at his face, his disappointment in me. I had come to like him more than I had liked anybody ever, and if his words or reaction was hard, it would break me. I already hated myself for being weak. I was supposed to be strong and unyielding, then this happened. I was not ready for any cold criticism. Hell, look at me being weak and emotional and caring.

I didn't know what I was expecting but it was certainly not what took place. Tobirama shifted one of his hand from my waist to my head and pulled me closer still, kissing my forehead softly.

"It was not your fault." The exact same time he said those words, I was engulfed by a strong warmth that made me end up spilling all the tears I had been holding and dreading. "It was not your fault." He whispered again and again, rocking me and patting my back occasionally. This was the first time I had cried this much in my entire life.

His chakra was warm. His embrace was warm. His words were warm.

Sometime in the night, sometime of his continuous whispering of it not being my fault, I began to understand that he wasn't saying this to make me feel better, he was just stating the truth and lifting my burden. He had never been the type to lie to make someone feel better, I knew that about him, so him telling me that it wasn't my fault as many times as I needed to hear it was a careful strategy on his part to help me stand back up and walk out of the cloud of trauma I had created and had looming over me.

"...you can hate me for it you know...some of it was my fault." I mumbled, somewhat under the spell of sleep from all the crying and being rocked back and forth.

"It wasn't, and I am not being blinded by my love for you. Just know that."

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Itachi_Warrior desu~ ^/_\^
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