a roses thorn

Chapter Fourteen

Matty's POV:

We had a wonderful night the night before with our parents being here in our home with my little brother and both mine and Kiera's best friends here.

I love the idea of us all being together as much as possible. I'm not sure if it's due to the past events while I was enlisted but I never want to lose another family member ever again in my entire life. And I'm including Kiera's friends that have somehow crawled into my heart and became family, too.

I couldn't have planned this a better way.

From the day I met Kiera officially, I knew she was the one. Whether I fucked up and did something to cause her to leave me or we stayed together throughout high school, I knew she was the one. I would've died trying my hardest to win her back if I happened to break her heart. I'd live the rest of my life proving to her that she will always be the one. 

I feared getting myself into trouble with our relationship in high school. I was worried that the natural flirt would come out the wrong way and it'd get me caught up. I was terrified that some stupid shit I'd done to some girl with a broken heart would ruin the relationship. I was just terrified of hurting Kiera all the time. 

And I ended up hurting her in the worst way possible by leaving her behind. 

She's the person I want to call when shit gets dark or I make a big win. She's the only person I was okay with having my baby. The only person I hadn't taken precautions with. She became my best friend on day one after I had my friend throw that football at her head. 

I don't know how to explain it, but you just know when someone can be the one. 

As soon as I got out of the military I had planned on getting Kiera the biggest ring I could and ask her to marry me. I thought at the time, I didn't want to interfere if she had moved on with someone else. But once I found out that she actually kissed another dude and she had him sleep in her bedroom with her, I lost it. Something came over me and I said things I can never take back. I wanted to want to be happy for her. But something inside of me took over.

I was nearly gone for five years and I couldn't have expected anything less but for her to move on. It'd be the moral thing to do and Kelia would've had another man in her life while I was absent. The thought of another man in Kiera's and Kelia's life filling my position made me sick to my stomach.

Thankfully she only share kissing with that loser friend of hers, Luka. I know they are only best friends and she set it straight with him and everyone else, but it still gets to me sometimes that they kissed and that he shared a moment with Kiera. My Kiera. I should've questioned his friendship title when I saw the first article of her and Luka and I should've spoke up when I saw the pictures of them out in public laughing and smiling with each other. They both looked incredibly happy together and you could tell by the body language that they are feeling each other. But it doesn't look half as good as mine and Kiera's outings.

I have started the process of being winged off my anxiety and depression medicine slowly but surely. I myself feel that I no longer need them, but Caroline claims we aren't just there yet. Caroline claims that I'm only a few more meetings away from being discharged as her patient.

It was bad, so bad. I used to wake up to Kiera holding me in her grasp while I was covered in sweat and loss of breath. It was so terrifying that I'd need to be in constant skin-to-skin contact with her during the night and I needed to know her every location to make sure nothing happened to her and Kelia.

I used to not give a fuck about God or the Devil, or any supernatural character of the sort. I'm more of a science man. I see the entries of God, I hear what people say about God, and I believe that people believe in God. But I didn't believe it. I've seen the proof of people finding their inner God voice but I simply didn't believe it. But now? I think God blessed me with Kiera, and shortly after with Kelia.