a roses thorn

Chapter Two

This is what I was trying to avoid. I was hoping to meet up with Luka and break things off with him as nicely as I could but he just couldn't leave me alone long enough to just let things wait out.

I feel awful for feeling this way.

"Kiera?" he placed his hands on the temples of his skull, "Who the hell is Luka?"

"He-he was a friend that I was hanging out with." why is he acting this way? Did he expect me to just wait for him forever? It's not like I've slept with Luka, he's just been hanging around the house and sleeping over some nights.

"Just a friend? I find that doubtful." he chuckled while rubbing his hand through his hair.

"I didn't fuck him if that's what you're implying." I can't believe he just said that to me. He of all people knows how I feel about pre-marital sex after what I went through. "He's been coming over and staying late to watch movies with me or work on my next show with me."

"That's all it's been?"

"Well—yeah." I lied. I can't tell him about the kissing right now. But I know it has to come to an end before I make a decision about anything. I'll forever love and choose Matty. But Luka is also a great friend and I loved that most about him. He takes care of me when I needed to be taken care of. Both of them have.

Two years ago I hit rock bottom. Two years ago I was so drunk and when I woke up, Luka was by my side when everyone else left me. He nurtured me back to health. He helped me stop relying on alcohol in order to function on a day-to-day basis. 

"You're sure?" he turned his head from the palm of his hands and he looked deep into my soul. His eyes were red, I'm not sure if it's from anger or if he's about to cry. But the jealousy is low-key sexy. Toxic. But sexy.

"Yes," I looked away from him, "Well..."

"Well, what? Just spit it the fuck out already." his voice began to rise in volume. I've never seen him get mad like this before. And I certainly didn't think we'd be arguing the same night he came home. 

"We...we kissed, Matty. I'm sorry, okay." I pleaded with the voice in my brain that he doesn't leave me after just coming back. "All we ever did is kiss. He's never--"

I couldn't believe I just blurted that out without any consideration of his feelings. I really wanted to avoid this entire scenario. That's why I was going to stop things with Luka and remain friends for the time being until Matty got back on his feet and could really make a decision if he wants to stay in our lives or not.

He's used to seeing the old Kiera. The one who got pregnant in high school and relied on other people for help. I'm not that girl anymore. I walk the runway eighty percent naked most of the time since I've partnered with Victoria's Secret and when I'm not walking the stage for them, I'm walking for Adidas or playing in rappers music videos half-naked while they throw strawberries in my mouth of shake a bottle of expensive champagne on my bikini.

I shake my ass on-screen and kiss singers in romantic music videos, I throw money at the rappers while they lip sing in front of a camera. I'm in beach music videos with bikini bottoms that imitate thongs. 

I'm not the same old shy Kiera. I'm the Kiera Johnson. I inspire people out here, young and elders. I'm going to meet the president of the United States. I'm thinking of traveling to help countries in need with my donations.