A Story To Tell

Chapter One

You know how in the movies when something tragic happens it seems to be night, and rain pours down, and lightning is flashing? I think I remember my former English teacher Mrs. Levine referring to this as 'dramatic effect'. But I am not in English class now. It is August and I have just graduated from the high school. I am expected to head off to college in the fall, like my best friend Alyssa. But that will not happen either. In part because of her, or maybe that is not fair. I am not sure what is fair right now.
Another thing also is, it is not storming out. The sun is shining brightly on this late August afternoon. This is a tragic day though. In this moment I feel like it is one of the worst days of my life, except maybe the day that led to me coming on this journey, and the day that led to that day too.
As I am riding in the car one of my favorite movie's flashes in my mind. Ironically it is called Riding in cars with boys, starring Drew Barrymore and the late and great Brittany Murphy. Drew's character Beverly states that "all life is, is four or five big days that change everything." Have I had my four or five big days already?
I ponder this idea and what that would mean for me as I ride along in the car, sun shining brightly and blinding me through the window. I close my eyes. I try to think of only the movie, and not the drama that is my current life.
I am not riding in a car with boys, however. I am sitting in the front passenger seat opposite Kristen Ann Rogers, my mother. I open my eyes and glance quickly at my mother before she can notice. Her knuckles are white as she grips the steering wheel, concentrating on the road through puffy eyes.
My mother has been crying ever since the decision was made. I, however, have not given into the hot sting of tears which will surely come. Most likely soaking into my pillow and lost in the dark of the night. But as the sun shines bright, I will put on a brave face. It is not that I am happy with this decision. A decision that has been made for me, as opposed to by me. A decision which impacts my life. I am the one going away.
Maybe I want to go away though. I certainly do want to escape. I have every day since graduation. That was the last day I remember feeling normal. Everything changed after that day. But I do not want to get into that now.
It has only been about an hour and a half since we set out on this journey. This means we have a little over two hours to go. I know this only from eavesdropping on my mother and Aunt Jenny as those plans were set in motion for me and googling it after. My aunt Jenny is my mother's younger sister, and the only relative she has left. My grandparents have passed, and there was not much family to speak of. As for my father's family, well I would not even know them if they were sitting on a park bench right next to me. The fact is I would not even know my father if HE was sitting on a park bench right next to me. I never met him. I do not even know if he knows about me honestly. My mother does not talk about him, and I would not put it past her to not even tell him. She needs to be in control everything. Of course I know this is not completely true or fair. She is a bit controlling, but she is also kind and really a lot less strict than some of my friend's parents. I have also not been the same person over the last couple of months, and she does not know why.