A Story To Tell

Chapter Fifteen

     My knees grew weak and my stomach queasy.  What was happening to me? It was just a voice Kat, get a hold of yourself.  Perhaps it was the whole situation.  I mean, I literally ran right into him and then my not-so-friendly new roommate goes and talks to him.  Somehow, I get myself back to my room even though I am feeling panicked all-of-a-sudden, and I do not know why.  To distract myself from my awkward encounter I begin to put my things away trying to push all thoughts of Mr., well I guess I could call him Scott now, instead of Mr. green eyes, out of my head.  Why was I even thinking of him at all? A derailment from what is currently my life at-the-moment of course was the simple answer. Anything was better than what was my reality at-this-time.
I finish unpacking quickly, being that there was not much to unpack. I decided to go to bed early. It was a better choice than facing my new roommate, who I am sure could not wait to rub my encounter in my face. The way she practically pounced on him as I went sulking to my room.
     I had to face it, I was in a new place and not a friendly face in sight.  Back home I was the bad/good girl.  I was friendly with most people but left the real socializing to my best friend Alyssa.  I was not afraid to party, but never did anything too crazy.  Of course, in the land of teenagers not being too crazy in many cases also meant not being easy when it came to guys.  I would drink and flirt, but when it came down to it, I almost never went through with anything at all.  Unfortunately, this also gave me a bit of a reputation as a tease.  But I knew most of the guys I went to school with since elementary school, and they did not care much.  I was a good drinking buddy, and between Alyssa and I we always could hunt down the best weed to bring to the party.
     I will say the good girl part of me would not let myself party during the week.  Sure, sometimes I would be out after curfew, but I never got wasted during the week. I was just usually hanging out in a parking lot and saved the real partying for the weekend.  I thought it was a good balance.  I thought I had it all under control.  I thought I was just doing typical teenage things.  But I thought wrong.  I learned my lesson when a new boy I did not know since elementary school stepped into my life, and he tore it to pieces.  Grant Jessup.  I slip into darkness with that name on my tongue and burning in my brain.  Then it comes, the hot sting of tears.  Why?  Why did this person have to come into my life senior year?  I was done, I had one foot out the door and off to college.  But now... now my life was in ruins and my heart aches for that girl that I thought I once was.  Who is Kat?  Kitty Kat... that awful sadistic voice mocks me as hot tears soak my pillow.