A Story To Tell

Chapter Twenty-One

     As I lay in bed a storm of thoughts swirled around in my head like a cyclone.  Jazzie's words repeated in my head, and I wondered just how intimated of Nia I should be.  I wondered if this guy was worth making a move on, and if I was even ready if he did show interest.  Could I take it beyond being a tease?  Could I even ever see myself having a relationship?  I mean, it did not exactly work out for my mom.  What if being a failure at relationships was genetic? I have never even seen my mom on a date, not for the entire time I was growing up.  It was always just me and her.  Now it feels more like it is just me.
     I glanced over at Nia as she lay sleeping. Sleep seemingly a stranger for me in this moment. I did not know much about this girl.  One fact I did know, she never said anything to me about having an interest in Scott. It could even just be a rumor.  Who is to say that he would be interested in her as well anyway? Who is to say he would be interested in me? I know from the reactions I have gotten from guys I am not horrible looking... but, let us face it, I have issues.  Even I can admit that much.
     Still, I could not help this pull I felt towards Scott.  Why had I never felt this before, and why was it happening now?  I could hear his voice now, saying my name. I could feel it covering me like a velvet blanket.  In that moment I decided, I decided that tomorrow, no matter what, I was going to make my move on Scott.  Now all I had to do was to think of a plan.  I needed to get him alone for this. But how? When? Where? I had a lot to figure out it seemed... and my other looming issues would have to wait. This... this will be my current priority. The drama that is my life, those demons that hover over me at night, well that would have to wait.