What If Our Life Threads Bind?

Chapter 30.

Once upon a time there was a girl, in love..

The thing about poems is that it is both- a lover's success and a failure. It is the fabricating story of a one sided lover's eye contact with her love interest for mere thirty seconds and a cause of a trilogy long tragedy.

Once upon a time there was a girl, in love-

like the evening awaiting its new morning,

she forgot she would have to wait for the night to pass, thereof.

It is what words is to the ink, what ink is to the paper. It is what water is to sand-mixing up with it and burying it in its own roots. This is what poem is to a poetess. A poetess absorbs and mixes its favorite significant other as words and buries herself in it.

Words light up emotions and let them burn

Once upon a time there was a girl, in love

Forbidden to love but found a fallen angel for herself that acquiesced with her in the run.

Down a road, I could hear an agitated cry like that of a child prattling on about to gain attention. I opened my window and stuck my head out to see. It was Lulu, crying and mewling in the dark. I grabbed my jacket and went outside to grab her.

"Lulu?"

The black kitten came to my feet and cried a little more. I sat down next to her, on my knees and pet her till she stopped meowing. "What is it?" I asked and then as if she could understand my human tongue, she looked at a distance and then I saw. It was her mother, Allegro- dead.

"Shh." I told Lulu when she started crying again and took Allegro's body in my hand as I walked to our backyard. Lulu followed me.

Quickly grabbing a scythe, I dug a hole in the soil and lowered Allegro's body inside. I was covering her body with soil when I heard footsteps and I stood up immediately. "What are you doing?" Lila asked.

"Her mother died. I was digging up a hole for her."

"You did what?" She shrieked and I told her to shut up.

"I just want a proper funeral for her. I am going to sing the song of death, so I wish you to go inside and take Lulu with you. Allegro needs peace." I said, my eyes cat down and voice wavering.

"Awe, you." My sister hugged me. "You should have been the God of all good and happy things. You cry everyday for the dead and everyone loathes you."

"Can I help it?" I shrugged and she gave me a sad smile before taking Lulu inside the house and shutting the door behind her.

...

I couldn't pay much attention. My mind kept racing back to what Austin messaged me. I obviously don't relate to him much. Our friendship seems a little forced. Defiantly, I looked at the poem I had written in boredom while studying for exams, near the margin with a doodle of an angel saying that "I ain't from no heaven of love. I am the Goddess of death." I was quite pleased with the doodle as well as the poem. But it didn't suffice to convince myself that Austin didn't think of me much.

What is wrong with me? Why am I working myself up for one boy's attention? Shouldn't I be studying for my upcoming exams?

A beep from my phone gave me a notification of a video upload that said 'Lyric prank with husband' and that gave me an idea. I opened Austin's inbox window and sent him a 'hello'. He immediately replied with a 'How are you doing?'

I took a brief breath as I replied.

Me: I need to talk to you about something.

Austin: yes?

Me: I know you say, you know me well. But these days I don't even know myself, no.

Austin: Why? What's wrong?

I giggled.

Me: I always thought I'd be with someone else. I thought I would own the way I felt

Austin: I beg your pardon.

Me: I call you but you never even answer, I tell myself I am done with wicked games. But then I get so numb with all the laughter that I forget about the pain.

Austin: I don't understand. I never got your calls. When did you call me?

I giggled some more. Lulu climbed up on my lap and stared at the screen. I gave her a wicked smile and she purred, as if proud. I pet her as I typed more.

Me: You stress me out. You kill me.

Austin: Excuse me?

Me: You drag me down. You fuck me up.

When he didn't reply, I skipped a line and jumped on another.

Me: I love it, I hate it..and I can't take it. But I keep on coming back to you.

The blue ticks told me he had read the message but there was no sign of him typing up his response. So I decided to tell him the truth as my shaking fingers typed it in.

Me: Hey, it was a prank.

He started typing.

Austin: Oh thank God!

Is this how it is supposed to go? I have a bad feeling that this was a lyric prank with crush gone wrong. Why do I do stupid things? I face palmed myself.

He was typing again.

Austin: But you nailed it. I thought it was for real.

Me: Haha, no. Just a dare from a friend.

Just a stupidity from my stupid heart.

Austin: That is no problem. It was fun. *smirking emoji*

Uhuh?

Me: Really?

"No no. This sounds desperate." I backspaced and rewrote my reply.

Me: I am glad *winky smile*

Lulu was rubbing her nose and purring, reading my texts. "Are you blushing, Lulu? Isn't he dreamy?"

She meowed and I giggled. "Don't worry. We'll find someone for you too. Then you both could cuddle and lick yourselves..Have little black kittens. Right?" I said in a soft childish voice and she rubbed her nose again. She is so cute.

"Dinner's ready!" Lila shouted and I logged out from my screen. A weird feeling rising up my chest.

Was he not happy about my fake yet true confession? What did he mean?

A pinch of sadness awash, I put Lulu to the floor and pet her, "Let's go eat some mice."