What If Our Life Threads Bind?

Chapter 50

I clutch the lid of the bottle filled with Lethe tightly with my fingers as I walk down the street. My blurry vision makes it slightly difficult for me to not wobble or see clearly around. I can't help but think back at the words Hades said when I told him the whole truth about Austin.

"Ah, lass. That is a huge problem, indeed." He rubbed his beard for a minute and then resumed speaking, "I guess, you are brave enough to let your lover forget you. I mean I have seen many other people who wouldn't just move on and wouldn't let their lovers move on.

But lass, you need to understand this that drinking this potion of Lethe would just make him and you forget about each other. It wouldn't change the fact that you have committed a sin. Have you thought of that?"

I had.

I had nodded confidently. "I am ready to accept any punishment they give me. I just don't want to risk his life anymore."

"Bless you, sweet. I hope for the best for you. You are not like others, I tell you." He patted my back, giving me the bottle and with that, I left.

I don't want to forget him.

But I have to.

He doesn't need to be arsed with this anymore. He has already helped me enough. He had tried to understand my situation regardless of his difficulties. I better not fuck this up now.

Soon enough he'll forget me.

And then? Then what?

Where do I go?

Lila's last words come back to me and I shake my head.

I'll see. Maybe I'll try to convince Lila and Chloe. They'd understand. After all they are my sisters.

And if they don't? Well, I'll get to that later.

To make things easier, I'll slip some of this potion into my coffee cup as well. Or maybe not.

The Gods would kill me anyway. I might as well remember Austin and die. I wish I could meet Paige and Margo before they kill me though. I don't wanna leave them without any information. Even Lulu.

But that can be done later. First I need to get to Austin.

My legs wobble at the step of the door and rang the bell. A minute later, Austin opened the door and uncontrollably, my eyes traveled down and up his body. He was grinning by the time I stared at his face. "Welcome back."

I gave him a quick smile and pushed past him, reminding myself that I have a purpose to follow. His grin wouldn't matter after I give him Lethe.

It'll be the end of....this.

Walking straight into the kitchen, I could feel Austin's eyes burning on my back. I chewed my lips till it bled but dared not to cry. Slowly, I bring the bottle out of the mouth of my bag.

This is it.

After this, he wouldn't remember any of this,

And I'll probably reside to whatever punishment they have in mind for me.

Before I know and could help myself, I'm crying already. I hear Austin coming behind me. He holds my waist and turns me around. "Martha?"

I quietly set the bottle of Lethe at the kitchen counter. When I didn't answer, he asked again, "What happened?" His eyes straying from me to the bottle and back.

Why is he making it so difficult for me?

I shook my head and cupped my face with my hands. I don't want to see him right now. I could feel him move closer to me and then he cups my face. My hands fall to my sides as he lifts my chin up to see him. Tears burn my eyes as I finally look at him.

Should I tell him how much he means to me? Should I confide in him my little secret that I have committed the sin of loving him, a mortal?

"Where did you go?" He breathed softly and I tried to keep myself calm.

"To kill Augury's friend. Augury had come here for his friend's tapestry, remember? I had gone to kill him." I mewled and he stayed quiet for a few minutes as if he couldn't understand what I was talking about.

Then suddenly he blurts, "You hadn't kill him earlier?"

I frowned at him. "What? No, I told you to give him the tapestry, didn't I? How else would I kill him without his presence or his tapestry?"

Then he looked away. His face flushed a little as if he was nervous or scared about something. "But at the carnival...you killed the guy." He said and then looked into my eyes. I don't understand. When did I kill anyone at the carnival?

I mean, I did fucking think of killing him when he didn't turn up at the carnival as he promised.

Yet...

Then he adds, holding my gaze, "Your eyes-"

I ignore his comment. I can't be arsed about it anyway.

"Austin, what are you talking about? I didn't kill anyone at the carnival."

"Martha, your eyes are-"

"Austin! Talk to me." I place my palms on either of his shoulders and shook him, silently pleading him to not make me open up about my sin.

"But you killed that-that man." He stammered. "Then you told me to run and I ran because I thought you'd kill me too."

Oh.

He thinks I am a murderer.

After all this time...

"I just killed Admetus' wife today." I whimpered out of anger, my voice wavering. "Didn't I tell you about the council meeting before I kill him? That is where I am coming from. What are you talking about?" I tried to sound strong but my heart wasn't really helping me, beating that fast in my chest right now. I clenched my fists to stop myself from shaking.

He looked flustered as if he had said too much or-

I looked into his eyes and then he blurted out whatever he had in mind, as if in a trance. "Martha, I saw you at the carnival and you were killing someone with your eyes and hands." He said and I didn't blink at him. Neither did he. "And, when I ran away. On my way, I think I met your sister, Chloe." He said and I backed a few steps.

I can't believe this!

All this time I thought I'd trust Austin, only now to find out that he thinks of me as a mindless killing monster, and whatever happened between Chloe and him, I know its bad.

Anger raged through me. I clenched my fists tighter, holding my jaw in a strict severe position and dared myself not to snap or cry. Who the fuck do I trust? Just because I am a demigod of death-

"Are you compelling me?" He suddenly asked and anger courses through me.

He is so infuriating!

Despite of everything, I've tried to be patient with him. Understood that this is all new to him and it will take time. But this doesn't work one way through. He should do the same.

I opened my heart out for him but if he doesn't even trust me, then what's the worth?

I turn around from him, clenching my fists tighter. "Martha, listen to me." He said but I don't do what he says.

"Martha-"

"Yes, I am!" I shout at him and he stirs.

The door bell rings and I storm out of the place to get the door before he does. On the door way, stand the furies. I gasp as one of them touches me and I drop to my feet.

For a minute, all I see is blur. I drift in and out of focus.

"Sinner!" She screams at me as I wobble to get up, my hands shaking and my eyes watery.

"Kill her, human!" She looks at Austin. "It is time."