What If Our Life Threads Bind?

Chapter 45.

Wait.

Wait.

Still wait.

No sign.

Wait.

Sounds easy, huh? Full bladder, cold, shivering aching muscles and bored to death. I am supposed to wait here until Austin comes back from the loo. It is like twenty minutes already and I am already so wound up that when he comes back, I'll probably just punch him.

No kidding, but where is he? He went to take a piss or create a whole ocean of it? Is he in some kind of trouble? Maybe there is a queue or something which is taking a lot of time.

Should I go and see if something is wrong?

But he told me to stay here. What if I move and he comes here, and we don't find each other? Tension grabs the better of me and I start pacing around. The people are starting to leave. Where are you, Austin?

Maybe he is on an important call? But it is not like he can't walk and talk at the same time. Unless...its something he doesn't want me to get bothered about.

Does he secretly have a girlfriend?

Or worse, a wife and a kid?

Anger flares into my body like flames and I jog my way to the parking lot, calling his phone. I hit the 'call' button but it ends before ringing and a small message of network issue flashes on my screen. "Great." I mutter, speeding up.

I look around, panting and that is when I see it. Austin driving away in his car in a rush.

"What the-"

I try calling his number again but the same network issue message pops up. I shove my phone in my pocket and walk my way to the outer street to search for a taxi.

Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

Austin wouldn't just leave me here. I thought he was enjoying. He almost kissed me back there and it was all so fun. I had the best time of my entire life today. What could have happened? Did I do something wrong?

Is it because I sort of didn't allow him to kiss me?

No, that can't be. He is much mature to be so low.

But something happened.

I freeze.

Near the bus stand outside the carnival, stands a mirror or so I hallucinate. Except I am not wearing a black mask and my hair are not done in an up-do of a ponytail. There is something about her that makes me dread going near her.

And then I see it.

Her green eyes.

Its the girl who gagged me the night I lost my life thread.

And then I blink. She disappears.

"Martha!" I hear a familiar voice and instantly I know I am in great trouble.

"Lila?" I say, without turning around.

"Look at me." my sister says and I turn around. She looks tired and pale when she looks at me. I slowly turn and immediately hug her. Tears prick my eyes but I dared myself to cry. No, why am I crying? Nothing wrong happened. Austin may not have even left me. Maybe something very important and unavoidable came up? I am not alone. He'll come back to me.

"You're back." I say and she nods. She looks at me from top to bottom and then stares right into my eyes.

"We know about Austin. You love him." She says and I cast my gaze down, my cheeks on fire. "Do you have any idea what you have done, Martha? You have committed a sin. Do you know what that means? You are in grave danger! He is a human and you're not. Oh, what did you do, Martha?"

"I couldn't help it, Lila." I say, taking her hand in mine. "Love doesn't come knocking on your door. It storms in the room without any permit. You can't handle emotions. No one can!" I say, mentally chanting to myself 'don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.'

"Love is a sin." She grits her teeth. She had starting to get teary herself too now. "We can't fall in love. Love is not fair. It is cruel and it takes everything away from you. It shatters you, burns you, heals you, melts you then ruins you. It will destroy you and then there is no going back. Love is for books and movies. It does not even exist in real life, Martha. What have you gotten yourself into?" She whines.

"I think he loves me too." I say and then regret it. How do I exactly know that? The guy just left me in an unknown place filled with humans that I don't even know about. But again, he wouldn't have done that. Something has happened.

"Really?" Lila laughs. It is not her usual pretty laugh. It is the one which screams 'kid-me-not' with lots of mockery etched into it. "You really think so? Then where is your romeo?"

"I don't know." I bite my lower lip. "I think he is in trouble. I need to help him, Lila. Will you help me help him?"

"He isn't. You are. In a big trouble." She shouts at me.

"You don't know that!" I shout back, tears forming in my eyes and this time I don't stop myself. "I love him. Now tell me what should I do? Kill him? Kill myself? Do something, Lila. Tell me. What do I do? I couldn't help it and maybe, he doesn't love me but I did see something in his eyes. He cares for me and honestly, that is enough. That is all I ask for." I am crying profusely by now and so is Lila. "You don't understand anything!"

"Just come back, Martha. We will make it right." She says after a moment.

"I will. But I need to know what has happened. Something is off. Austin needs me. He needs my help."

"Martha, don't be stupid! Come with me."

"I will come back to you..but just now, I can't. Please try to understand. I need to go." I can't stop crying and it is the kind where all what escapes from my mouth are just numerous sobs and gasps. my face is probably red by now. My head is hurting and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Fine, then. But don't come back crying to me." She says and leaves in the opposite direction.

It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. The pain that flowed from me was as palpable was the frigid fall wind.

I wiped my face furiously and saw a few pair of eyes looking at me. I ignored them, tried to tell myself to remain calm and started walking until I found a taxi.

...

My heart was pounding loudly in my chest, so much so that I could almost hear it and feared that the driver too might hear it from his seat. I shake my leg at the highest speed of a dribbling basket ball and stared at my taxi driver. "Could you drive faster, please?" I asked as politely as I could and he gave me a grunt in a response and the next second I know, the car has transformed into those extra fast racing cars.

So I gather that was a yes.

Within fifteen minutes, I reached Austin's place. With my heart in my mouth, I gulped down the bile and rang the bell. A minute after, I heard footsteps and the door opened.

"Austin-" I was ready to kick him in the balls but a pair of strong arms pulled me into an embrace. I gasped and hugged him back, tightly while he rubbed my back. I realize I was crying.

"I thought I lost you. I couldn't find you.....you had me worried." He said and gave me a squeeze. "I thought I'd never see you again." He said and gave a peck on my cheeks.