I Do Until I Don't

Chapter 38

  The outside concert turns out to be not-so-popular. There are a few cars parked on the grass, but Fannar and I find places in front of the stage.

There a few stands selling glow-in-the-dark bracelets and t-shirts. Most people are dressed out casually. Jeans and t-shirts. Fannar is wearing his bathing suit and flip flops with a white tee. I'm in red shorts, gladiator shoes (thanks, Julia) and a white Fort Lauderdale sweater.

"Who's performing?" I ask Fannar once we bought a hot dog each, glow-in-the-dark bracelets and a can of coca-cola each other.

"A bunch of unknown artists. They're really good, though."

"Do you know any?"

"Nope." Fannar looks at me sideways and grins.

I let out the beginning of a laugh. "Then how do you know they're good?"

"Trust me," he teases me.

"Fiiinneee!" I pretend to seem exasperated.

People teasing me makes me smile.

It's about seven-thirty and the sun has yet to set.

Sunsets make me happy.

Many people are gathering around; Fannar says the concert should start any minute now. I'm scared I'll have one of those derealization episodes but, for some reason, I feel completely in the moment. It's so strange how I can feel stressed out by many people but also completely at ease. Maybe I shouldn't diagnose myself. Maybe I don't have derealization... I'll have to ask a specialist. Google does not count.

Spotlights glint on the stage and a voice irrupts from the speakers laid out here and there on the grass.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ARE YOU READY TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIVES?!?!?!"

Everyone shouts. Fannar and I look at each other and smile before joining the cheers.

A group of five guys I have never seen in my life join the stage. "GOOD AFTERNOON FLORIDA!" More cheers. "THANKS FOR COMING! HOPE YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC NIGHT WITH US!"

The members take their spot on the stage, and the drummer starts playing.

"It's mostly covers," a girl says. I turn around. Is she talking to me?

The girl smiles at me.

"I'm Laura."

I smile and wave. It's not every day that people randomly start a conversation with me. I like it.

"I'm Ella-Mae. This" I gesture towards Fannar who flashes her one of his adorable smiles, "is Fannar."

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

I realize the next second what I just said. Should I have lied to a stranger? It didn't feel like a lie. It should have felt like a lie.

It's not because I'm nervous around him and am maybe, kinda, perhaps, developing feelings for him that I have earned the right to call him my boyfriend.

"He's cute," Laura says.

The music is getting louder and louder, so I move closer to her. She's wearing a white camisole and ripped jeans and big glasses. She's barefoot and smells like weed.

"Yeah," I agree with Laura, taking a step back because I can't stand the stench of weed. "what did you say about them doing covers?"

"Oh yeah, the guitarist over there," she points to the guy in the center of the stage, topless and leather jeans, "He's my boyfriend." she pauses. "Well, we're friends with benefits if you know what I mean. Anyway, it's their first really big gig. They have one single. You probably never heard of it, but it's super popular in Wisconsin. And they mostly do covers."