I Do Until I Don't

Chapter 48

 Being with Sabrina for even a day is like seeing your entire family at a Christmas party: it's a blast, it's hilarious, and you just want it to last longer.

"You're telling me," Sabrina recapitulates for the tenth time, "that you don't want to be a veterinarian nor a journalist, nor w wedding planner, nor a psychologist?"

I shake my head.

"Honey, you're going to be home. less."

I burst into laughter by the texas accent she used to emphasis her last word.

"I know!"

We laugh some more.

It's not because of something funny we said, it's just that, when we're together, everything is funnier.

We're on the patio of the beach house, rolling cookie dough. Sabrina's hair is tied in a bun, but she somehow manages to have flour all over it. She's wearing a black crop top with neon yellow shorts while I'm wearing a white tee-shirt over my bathing suit.

We talked about things that make me happy and arrived at the conclusion that I like:

Nature;People;Being creative;Helping others.

We brainstormed job ideas, did plenty of quizzes and even called a teller of good fortune. According to BuzzFeed, I should be a teacher. According to Quizzo, I should be a vet. According to Sab, I should be a journalist ("but one who isn't corrupted and who one writes about good news") and, according to the fortuneteller, I should marry rich.

I like that option.

"I still half a year to figure it out," I remind myself.

"Yes, because you have had sixteen and a half years to figure it out and it's in the next six months that you're going to figure it all out."

I rest my head in my hands. "Can I just have an illumination? Like, can I just wake up and see a paper on my desk with the words 'Become this!' on it? Is it too much to ask?"

"Life would be boring if it were the case," Sabrina says.

"Yeah," I concede, "But easier."

"Do you wanna talk about something else?" Sabrina wonders.

She rolls cookie dough and, instead of placing it on the platter, like Mom asked us to do, she pops it into her mouth. I open mine, and she puts a big ball in my mouth.

"Sure. Oh! What happened with the weird guys following you?"

Sabrina claps her hand like she has the coolest story to tell me. I let go of the ball I'm rolling to fully immerse myself in her story. She explains that she and Alex planned to trap them in a weird alley, and that she had memorized the coolest speech ever and that they were so embarrassed that they each gave her twenty dollars.

"It's crazy. I'm a hundred dollars richer, now. It really pays off to speak your mind."

Speak my mind... Maybe it's time for me to come clean. To everyone. About everything.

*****

I have no idea what one should wear when one goes to a karaoke bar. I don't even know what one wears when one goes to a bar. I'm not nervous that I'm going to one, Julia tells me the barman won't say anything as long as I don't drink which I don't worry about because I've tried beer and tequila and wine and everything is disgusting. Most of all, I don't know what one wears at a bachelorette party, at one's sister's bachelorette party.

"JULIA!?" I shout from our room. I know she's in the beach house, but I have no idea where.

"WHAT?" she yells back. Oh, she's in the bathroom.