I Do Until I Don't

Chapter 55

  Nia and Mel and cuddling in the back seat next to me, and all I do is look at Fannar's profile and hope he'll turn from the shotgun seat and flash me one of his gorgeous smiles. He doesn't, though.

Fannar is exhausted and he insists that we can keep his car until tomorrow. He gives us his car keys and says that we can drop him off at his place before we continue to ours. He doesn't even let us time to protest, he shakes his head and cuts me off every time I try to tell him that it's okay, and that he can take back his car.

"No way," he insists again. "You don't know when your parents are getting back, and you might need the car tomorrow. Besides, I'm close to a grocery store and the beach, so I don't need it." He shrugs. "I barely use it anyway."

I finally cave him and I get out of the car to tell him goodbye.

"Thanks again for helping us out. It means a lot."

Fannar brushes it off. "Oh! No problem! It was fun."

I laugh.

"Sleep well," I tell him, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Don't I have a hug?" He opens his arms wide.

I blink and thank the palm tree's shade for hiding my flushed cheeks so well.

"Umm... Okay?"

It's not the first time we hug, but it feels like the very first time. My arms wrap around his neck and. His arms wrap around my waist. and the fact that he might feel the little bumps of back fat only barely crosses my mind. I never had to worry about that with him.

"Sleep well, too," Fannar wishes me once we finally break out of the hug.

I'm still drunk on his scent, so I manage to nod and smile awkwardly. Fannar looks at me one last time before entering his house.

I don't know if I'm skipping or walking like a drunk person as I head back to the car.

"That was adorable," Julia says.

I don't say anything.

I don't feel like talking to my sister right now.

"Ju? Can you make one last stop?"

*****

What if Sabrina's sleeping? What if she's not even home?

I knock on the door. It's almost noon, she's usually awake by that time. I knock again.

No one answers.

What if it's Alex who answers? They rented and RB&B together, quite big with two levels, a kitchen and a pool. Maybe they're out together.

I inhale sharply, I need to talk to my best friend, I need to apologize and tell her everything that happened this summer and everything that happened today with Fannar. When his hand almost brushed mine and the hug and my heart racing and me just wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. I know it's too soon to tell, I know I'm young and I don't know much about love, but I really hope it's him and me in the end.

I look up and, because of the opened window, notice that Sabrina's room is lit. She's home, she's just choosing not to open the door.

But she's my best friend, I won't give up so easily.

There's a tree leading up to her room. Even from up there, if I manage to climb it up, I'll have to jump to land on her porch which, knowing me, will never work. But maybe I could get her to listen to what I have to say. I have to try.