Chapter 34: Sunset

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J I A

Sunset. A time where the sun would say its farewell to earth, to us. No sun, no light..darkness. 

Sunset can be implied to two things, actually. Goodbye, past, hello, new day or Goodbye happiness, hello sadness.

To hell with ambiguity. 

An hour ago

Monday. I just got back from the province and i hope things will get better. So i looked for her and there, I saw her in the field.

"Hey," I waited for her to reply but after ten seconds, there's still nothing.

"Look..I'll leave if you want. I---I just think we need to talk.

"So talk."

"I uhh..I need to apologize."

"Yes, you do. You know, I planned to say all these terrible things to you, but in the end, I just want to tell you i miss you."

"I do, too. I miss you, love. I love you so much --"

"Then why? Why did you leave? Why haven't you said a thing? Why didn't you believe me that I didn't do such thing?"

"Im sorry I didn't believe you, that I didn't stand with you. Im supposed to be there for you --"

"You know, I will never forget that moment. That moment when the world sort of blows you backwards and..that one person you thought who would always be there to catch you..She isn't there. Of all people Ji, i know you're the one who knows me best. "

"I know. Im sorry for not standing up with you, sorry for not being there for you..with you. I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to laugh with you and really, I just wanted to be around you that time but.."

"Now, here we go with the buts.."

"Mich.."

"No, go on."

"Mi --"

"I said, GO ON!"

"I can't.. I'm.. I'm sorry when I didn't tell you everything when i knew you would understand. Im sorry i did what i did. Im sorry for being pathetic and stupid. Im sorry for hurting you and making it looked like i don't care. And most of all, im sorry that i gave up on you, on us when you never did."

"Why did you leave me then? For two days! Those two days when I needed you the most! Why did you gave up on me? When I obviously gave you everything?"

"Because i'm so scared that i am not worth it anymore. You're just too perfect for me. You're just..too much for me. I don't think i deserve that kind of person --"

"I hate it when you think that you knew what's best for me when in fact, it was YOU who was the best for me, Julia."

"I don't think i deserve you, that i'm worthy of you --"

"Did leaving me make you worth it? That's just plain bullshit!"

"Im sorry. I know you can't forgive me yet but i do hope, that'll be soon. I wanted you back, Mich. But.."

"But.. Heh."

"But i wanted to be that person who's ready for everything. I wanted to be that someone you wanted me to be. I want to be your Superman. I want to be your strength, your power, your everything, not the other way around. I don't want to feel useless, to rely everything on you."

"And that's why you gave up on me?"

"You never give up on people you love, babe."

"Then what is this? What are you doing?"

"This isn't me giving up on our relationship, on us, no. This is me risking everything to save us. I'll fix myself, everything that i think that's needed to be fixed. Im always here. Whatever happens. But please, promise me one thing."

"And what's that?"

"Please always find a way to come back to me. Please don't fall for anybody but..pag hindi mo na napigilan, tell me para alam ko. I'll let you go, whole heartedly kahit masakit.. I'd let you go. But please, come back to me."

"So you're asking for space? For time? Jia, I can't do that anymore. Don't you think its enough? Its too much. Awang-awa na ako sa sarili ko, Ji. Hindi ko na alam. Mahal kita, alam mo yan, sobrang mahal kita but the pain..It hurts. Too much pain that it clouded the love I have for you. I've waited for you. Those two days, I've been hoping you'd come home. Fix things between us, once and for all, but you never did. Manhid na nga ata yung puso sa sobrang sakit na  naramdaman ko eh. You know, we've tried. Lots of times to fix this, all of this, to be okay again but its like, something  in this world doesn't want us to be together."

"No, we'll fight it, together. Anything couldn't stop us when we're together, right? After fixing this, ourselves, we could move forward and forget it. Start anew."

"But we can't. What you did? It broke me to pieces."

"Then let me mend it and put the pieces back together."

"We can try. We can. But this time..it is too broken to mend. What I don't want is to replace all our happy memories together by this feeling..of me being broken."

"I'm sorry for letting you feel that way. Im sorry."

"I know. I know."

"And I still love you. I've always love you."

"And that..is what i've been holding on all those times. Little did I know, that would also be the reason why i'm so broken right now.

"Mich --"

"Its going to leave a giant hole in my heart but -- I'll get through it. I'll live."

"No, no. Babe, you are my life. No ---"

"Then you're screwed, Jia."

"I'm gonna be a better person. For you, Mich. I'll find a way to make you come back to me."

"If two people are destined to be together, they will always find a way. If its meant to be, it will be. No matter how long it takes. Fate will find its way but right now, it walked past us. Goodbye, Jia."

Mich took steps closer to me and kissed me in the lips. For one last time. 

So, is this what they call a "goodbye kiss"? Screw it.

We're both crying under the sunset.

After that, she turned her back on me and walked away.

How ironic it is that our love story begins with riding on a ferris wheel under a sunset, and then it ended with a sunset.

I looked at her.

Please, turn. One last glimpse, one last chance.

But she didn't.

And, that's my cue.

I turned around, then walked to other side of the street.

Maybe this time, its not really meant to be. Goodbye, Mich.

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Soooo, guys? What dya think? HAHAHA

Samurai's Kryptonite ft JiaMich (Julia Morado-Michelle Morente)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon