Fluctuate - Van McCann

6

I walk into my room to find Bondy and Anna in there. "Oh, hey, Peyton. We were wondering when you'd be back," Anna says. They were both sitting on Anna's bed and it looks as if they had been laughing since they still had smiles on their faces and they were looking all giddy.

I chuckle lightly. "Yeah, I was just out to grab a few things for school tomorrow," I say, holding up my plastic bag so they could see. "Sorry if I interrupted something."

Bondy shakes his head and Anna speaks up. "Of course you didn't. Anyway, we wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight. Us, Benji, Bob, and Van," she says.

I hesitate at hearing Van's name. Could I really stand a whole evening with him when he wouldn't talk to me? I can already feel the tension.

"Sure. Sounds fun. What time?" I say, without fully thinking of what I was agreeing to.

"Whenever you're ready to go. The others said that they'd be ready whenever," Bondy says. "You and Van gonna hang out?" He asks, giving me a winky face. I guess Anna didn't tell Bondy about our fallout.

"I don't think Van and I are going to work out," I tell Bondy. "I misinterpreted a few things and he's mad at me now." I shrug my shoulders and walk toward my bed, facing away from Anna and Bondy so they wouldn't be able to see my watery eyes.

I don't know why Van being upset with me made me so sad. I hardly even know him, yet I feel like I need him to like me.

"Ah, well Van is very understanding. He's a good lad, promise ya that," Bondy says. "Plus I know he likes you. Told me himself."

I turn around and look at him. "Really? When did he tell you that? Because I just apologized a few minutes ago and it seems like he wants nothing to do with me," I say.

"Give him a few. He'll come around. He always does," Bondy says.

I nod my head. "I hope your right," I say.

"He always is," Anna chimes in and places a hand on his shoulder. They were cute together.

I smile at the two of them. "So are you guys a thing?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yup. We're official," Anna says happily. The look at each other and smile. I wish I could have a relationship as genuine as theirs. My longest relationship lasted about six months and he definitely wasn't ready to have a girlfriend.

"Aww," I coo. "How cute."

"Just like how you and Van will be soon," Anna says with a smile. "Come on, lets go get the others so we can go. I'm hungry."

"Okay," I say. "I'm not sure what you think is going to happen with Van, but I'm sure he wouldn't want anything more than a friendship with me, if anything at all," I say, still partially doubting what Bondy said about his liking me.

"Ah, shut up. You'll see," Bondy says.

•~~~~~

We walk right into the dorm room without knocking since Bondy lived there too. All four of the guys did, actually. It was the only four person dorm room in this building. According to Bondy, that meant lots of parties would be held there.

"Hello!" Bondy yells, even though everyone already saw him. "Let's go get dinner," he adds, returning his voice to a normal volume.

"Sure, let's go," Van says, standing up from the couch. The others stand up too and follow Van.

We decide to walk rather than take the bus because the buses here can be disgusting sometimes. Van and I were walking next to each other in between Bondy and Anna and Benji and Bob. It was probably Anna's idea to have us walk together. Van and I walked in silence as the two people on either side of us conversed.

"Hey," Bondy says, leaning forward to look at Van. "Did you see Peyton's shirt yesterday. It was the Strokes. Finally found someone else who likes 'em, yeah?" He says. Clearly, he was trying to get Van to talk to me, but I had a feeling Van wouldn't want to.

"Oh, yeah. Emily also listens to the Strokes, though," Van replies. Of course he had to bring up Emily. Maybe I was in the wrong at first, but now he was just being immature about it.

"Bet ya Peyton knows more songs and isn't a fake fan like Emily," Bondy says.

"Oh, come on," Van chuckles. "She wasn't a fake fan."

"Oh, yeah? She knew maybe a quarter of the songs we played for her. If that!" Bondy says. "Come on, Peyton, what's your favorite song by them?"

"Probably Ize of the World," I say. "I like the lyrics."

"Hey, no way. Me too. Songs underrated, I think," Van says. Did he actually just talk to me in a voice that wasn't condescending or angry?

"Personally think Ize of the World is the worst of the album," Bob starts. He raises his hands in defense.

"Bob, you can't talk. Your favorite Strokes song is Red Light," Van says. "It's good, but the lyrics are nothing compared to the other songs and the riff sounds a little basic."

For the rest of the walk, Van and I continue to fight for Ize of the World, the obviously superior Strokes song. We arrive at the pizza place that Anna had chosen and a waiter brings us to a large table.

I was the last person in, so I had the last choice of seats. Of course, the only one available was next to Van in the booth. Everyone begins to talk together, except for me. Benji, Bob, and Van were chatting about FIFA and Anna and Bondy were talking quietly to themselves.

The waiter eventually comes out after about ten minutes of me sitting in silence while the rest were being social. Anna orders three large cheese pizzas and then goes back to talking with Bondy.

"I think I'm going to go to the bathroom," I nudge Anna, who was engrossed in her conversation with Bondy, on the shoulder.

"Oh, okay. Don't have too much fun," she jokes.

"I won't," I reply and walk away toward the bathrooms in the back of the restaurant.