Fluctuate - Van McCann

23

Van and I make it back to the dorm building at about 11:45. We step out of the elevator and he grabs my hands. "Goodnight, Peyton. I'll see you tomorrow?" He says quietly, probably because he knew people were asleep right now.

"See you tomorrow," I confirm. "Goodnight."

Van pulls me into a hug and the side of my face rests of his chest. He gently rubs my back. "I don't want tonight to be over," I admit.

"Neither do I, babe. Neither do I," Van agrees with me. "But we'll see each other tomorrow. I promise." He kisses the top of my head before we pull apart from the hug.

"I know... but tomorrow is so far away," I say.

"Well, you can text me all night. I won't go to bed until you're sick and tired of my texts," Van says. He has a small smile on his face and he brushes the hair from my face.

"Okay," I say. "See ya."

"See ya," Van says. "I'll be expecting your texts."

"I will. After I change into your sweatpants and T-shirt," I say as I turn around and look at him with a smile.

He turns back too. "God, you kill me, Peyton," he shakes his head.

•~~~~~

I walk into my dorm and noticed that Anna still wasn't here. Bondy and her are probably out at a party. I grab Van's clothes and walk to the bathroom to get changed and brush my teeth. The shirt still smells like Van and I can't help taking a deep breath into the shirt before putting it on.

I get in bed after I get changed and plug my phone in. Just as I was about to text Van, a soft knock sounds at my door. Maybe Anna forgot to bring a key with her.

I get out of bed and walk to the door, opening it when I get there. I furrow my eyebrows when I see that it was Van standing at the door, not Anna.

"Van?" I question, confused, but not disappointed.

"Hey," he says. "Nice clothes. Where'd you get 'em?" He asks humorously.

"Hmm. Not sure," I joke. "You can come in." I open the door further, allowing him to come in. He does and we both sit on my bed.

"Bondy and Anna are both sleeping in my dorm. I didn't want to. Disturb them..." Van says. "You think I could sleep in here tonight?"

"Of course you can. You can take my bed. I sleep in Anna's," I say. "Oh and I can give you these clothes back. I don't want you sleeping in clothes like that." He was still wearing the outfit he wore tonight.

"No, no. You stay in those clothes. You look comfortable and cute. That's all I'll ever need," he says.

"Thanks," I say. "If you change your mind, let me know."

"You got it," he says.

I stand up and walk to Anna's bed. I didn't realize, but she had a ton of clothes, makeup, hair supplies, and schoolwork on her bed. I guess I have to move some things. I start with a few of her books, which I move to her desk.

"Hey," Van interrupts my cleaning. "Come here for a second."

I walk to my bed where he was lying down underneath the covers. "Yeah?" I ask.

"Anna's bed has a lot of stuff on it, huh?" He says.

I look back at the bed and then at Van again. "Yeah," I say.

"Well, I don't want you to have to move all her stuff. I know you're probably pretty tired, yeah?" Van says. He sits up now.

"Yeah, I am. It's fine, though. I should be done soon. You go to bed," I tell him. I put my hand on his shoulder, motioning for him to lie back down.

"No, babe. You know I won't be able to sleep until you are," he says. "Come sleep with me tonight. It's your bed, after all."

I feel my cheeks grow warm. Thankfully, it was dark, so Van would not be able to see my cheeks turn red.

"Are you sure? I don't want to take up all your room. It's a small bed," I say.

"I don't mind. Just want you to be comfortable," he says. "Now, come here." He holds his hand out for me, which I take.

He lifts up the covers for me with his other hand and I get into the bed next to him. Our legs intertwine and I move closer to him.

"Van, I-" I stop talking. "Never mind." I couldn't tell him this now. It would be too much of a risk.

"What is it, Peyton?" Van asks softly. "You can tell me."

I hesitate before speaking. "I-I can't," I shake my head.

Van nods his head. "Okay. I'm here to listen whenever you're ready, you know that. And nothing you tell me could change the way I feel about you."

"I know. I'll tell you one day soon. I promise," I reassure Van. "But, you must be so uncomfortable in your jeans. I couldn't imagine sleeping like that."

"Relax, baby. I'm perfectly fine. As long as you're with me," he says. His kisses my nose, which makes me smile a little.

"Let me give you your sweatpants. I don't want you to be uncomfortable," I say. I sit up and pull the covers off of me.

I get out of bed and start to take off Van's sweatpants. Van gets up too and takes his belt off. His shirt was long and covered most of my bum.

"Here you go," I hand the pants to Van, who was now in just his boxers and shirt. I couldn't help but look at Van's legs as I held the pants out.

I hear Van chuckle. "You like this, eh?" He asks. He takes the pants from my hand.

"Oh, no... I-I mean... I just was... I," I stutter, overwhelmed. Of course I liked Van's body, but I couldn't tell him that. At least, not right now. And I also can't tell him that I don't like his body.

"Calm down, love," he says, talking a step closer to me. "I'm just teasing."

Van drops the pants and puts his hands on my waist. "I was looking at you, too," he whispers in my ear. He takes one more step closer to me so we were practically hugging. His hand move down to the hemline of my underwear.

"Peyton?" He asks in a deep voice. I wrap my arms around his torso and wait for him to finish asking his question. "Can I treat you well tonight?"

I knew what he meant. And he knew I knew. I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather lose my virginity to than Van. I nod my head into his chest.

"What was that, baby?" He asks. He wanted me to tell him with my words.

"Yes," I breathe out.