Fluctuate - Van McCann

28

It feels like I was holding the cup out for forever until Van finally took it from my hands. "Why don't you come inside?" He asks quietly.

I look up at him and nod my head. "Okay," I say. I'm not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Van shuts his door and lets out a loud sigh. He sets the tea down on his desk and then sits down on his bed. He looks up at me. "You can sit down, Pey," he tells me, using a nickname that made me feel weak in the knees.

I nod my head and sit down, looking at my feet on the ground.

"I want this to work out... I really do," Van tells me. From the corner of my eye, I can see him brushing his hair back with his hand. I've learned that he does this when he's nervous. "You mean the world to me, I hope you know that by now. But I can't get rid of other people in my life just to make this work... to make us work."

"I-I know," I stutter. "And I'm sorry." I wonder if I should tell Van about the rude things Emily said about him. Would he even believe me? Now is not the best time for it, anyway. I'll decide later.

Another awkward silence fills the room and I play with my hands. "Van?" I finally say, my voice cracking. I feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Yeah?" He questions.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask quietly.

"You," he admits. "I'm thinking of you, of course. You're always on my mind."

I nod my head and suppress a smile that was forming on my face. It made me happy to know that he thought of me often, and that he admitted to it as well.

"I'm sorry again for freaking out," I say, this time, having the courage to look up at Van. "Sometimes I just get jealous. Especially around gorgeous girls like Emily. I really just can't help it sometimes."

"How can you be jealous of any other woman? You're mad beautiful. A thousand times prettier than Emily, at least. I need you to trust me, baby. You have nothing to be jealous of, yeah?" Van places his hand on the small of my back.

I look Van in the eyes. "I believe you," I whisper. I lean into his shoulder and breathe in his scent of cologne and smoke, something I have grown to love.

Van pulls me down to the bed so we are lying down next to each other. "I hope all of our fights are only this long. I can't stand having you and me not together. Drives me crazy," he says with a chuckle.

"Me too," I smile at him and quickly peck his lips.

"Hey, hey, hey," Van shakes his head. "That was too short for me. Come here and leather me with those lips of yours." He shuffled closer to me and put his hand on the back of my head, guiding me closer to him.

Our lips meet and we begin moving together, in harmony. "Babe?" Van speaks while he quickly takes a break to breathe before going right back at it again.

"Mhm?" I hum, not pulling back from the kiss to reply.

"If I ever made you feel... like I wasn't giving you enough attention...then I'm sorry...Just tell me whenever you feel that way... I can't bare even thinking about you being upset with me," he tells me between kisses.

"I will. I know you don't mean too. And it's my fault too. I need to be less jealous of other girls when they're around you," I say. We broke away from the kiss and lay down on his bed, our noses almost touching.

"Eh, that's not a completely bad thing. I'll admit, it's kinda hot when you're jealous," he tells me with a smirk on his lips.

I roll my eyes and giggle. "Shut up, Van," I say, jokingly.

"Aw, come on, now. I'm just teasing you," he says.

He brings his hand up to my head and pushes some hair from my eyes. "I know, I know," I repeat. "I'm just messing around too."

•~~~~~
"Hey, love?" Van taps my shoulder gently. I wasn't completely asleep, but I was getting there.

I groan and flutter my eyes open. "Make it quick, I'm tired," I say with a yawn.

Van laughs. "Of course, anything for you," he says. "Anyway, Anna and Bonds were wondering if we wanted to go to a party tonight. What do you say?"

"Only if there'll be food. I'm hungry," I say. I grab the hem of Van's shirt under the covers and play with it.

"I can arrange that," he says. "Now, What are you trying to do with my shirt? Take it off?"

I blush. "No, well, that wasn't my intention," I smile.

"Alright, cutie. I'm all yours later tonight, assuming you want to stay the night," he says. "I know Bondy won't mind staying at your place with Anna."

"Of course I'll sleep with you. You're much warmer than just my covers, after all," I tell him, biting my lip.

"Well, I'm glad I can provide at least some physical comfort for ya," he chuckles. "Now, stop biting that lip of yours. That drives me straight mad, and you know it." He raises his eyebrows at me and sits up in the bed.

"Hmm...maybe that's why I do it," I tell him with a grin.

"Ah, so you wanna play that way, I see. Maybe you should sleep in your own dorm tonight," he suggests, although I know he's only kidding.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'll stop," I say. I grab his shoulder so he can't leave me, but he could easily push me off.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll reconsider," Van shrugs. "Let's get some real clothes on for tonight, go get some dinner, and then head to the party, okay?" He stands up and holds my hand, which was previously on his shoulder, with both of his hands.

"Okay," I say, getting up with the help of Van.