After Sanctum (The 100)Bellarke fanfic

Resposabilities and abilities

Madi was hiding in the infirmary. Gaia had been pushing her to train this last 3 days since Clarke left. She obeyed the first two days without a complaint, but she could not stand it anymore. Gaia had noticed her reluctance and increased the work load on the hope that she felt more encourage to dominate her teachings , but it backfired right back at her. Madi not just got irritated and angry by the end of the day, although she tried to hide it, but her humor made her failed on completing exercise that she had master before.

Today Madi had woken up and gone straight to the infirmary without breakfast, she wanted some time alone. It had been only three days but she missed Clarke a lot, Gaia was fine, but she barely knew her and it wasn't the same.
Madi was feeling more and more scared everyday at the thought of having to put the flame back in her head. She knew that she had made a choice, she took the responsibility of leading her people and she was fine with it, until sheidheda. 

She still had nightmares about it, it was like even though the flame was out he was still in her head to call her weak for not been able to suppress him. She could see over and over again how he tried to choke her to maintain control. Gaia insisted that she would be able to master it now that she had been through the worse , but she wasn't so sure. Madi knew Gaia intentions were good, but she just couldn't put effort in a training that she knew will lead her to have the flame back in her head. To have Sheidhead back.

She had decided that the infirmary was the best place to avoid Gaia because it gave her a perfect excuse to not have to train. If she was caught she will just say that she wanted to study some things that Clarke left for her. She was doing some readings when Jackson enter the infirmary to start his day.

- Madi what are you doing here? - he asked.

Madi , who was totally focus on her reading, jumped and hid her knee against the table, letting a small scream out. When she looked down she saw that even when it didn't hurt that much, she had a small cut on and a drop of black blood was running down her leg.

-uhh , sorry, I didn't mean to scared you. Come here, let me patch you up.- said Jackson taking out some clean wipes and a small patch.

Madi didn't say anything and walk towards Jackson. She sat in the chair in front of him and thanked him when he was clean her cut.

- No worries.Now, are you gonna tell me why are you here and not eating breakfast?- he asked her while he finished putting the bandage and stand up.- Gaia is looking for you , you know?

- I know.... I.... I just wanted to read some stuff that Clarke left for me to learn... and...

- and you were hiding from Gaia- he said with a smirk on his face, Madi's face just confirmed what he said. He took the sit next to Madi and said- Madi if something is bothering you , you need to let her help. I know she is not Clarke, but she has the best intentions for you.

- I know that  is just...., I don't want to disappoint her. Disappoint everyone.

- Why? How could you disappoint anyone ?. Everyone loved you, and we are your family. We are here to support you, not to judge you. You are very strong Madi. I am sure that whatever it is that you don't want her to be disappointed about, it would be fine if you just talk to her.

Madi thought about it for a moment and finally let out a sight and looked up to Jackson and said.

- Can i talk about it later? I just want to focus on what I was doing right now, and not think about it. Can I?

- sure you can - said Jackson

- Great, Because I actually could use your help with some things that I don't understand.

After that they started to work and study for about to hours, and were taking a break when Gaia enter the infirmary.

- Madi!!! There you are. What are you doing here? I am been looking for you for hours. We have to train.

Madi cursed internally, she didn't want to train so she just try to use the same excuse as before.

- Oh sorry, is just that I remembered that Clarke left some stuff for me to do here, and we have been training for two days .... I just thought it wasn't a big deal if I took the day to do them , sorry- she try to maintain the most innocent expression that she could but Gaia wasn't easily fooled. Seeing that Gaia was gonna keep pushing Jackson tried to intervene.

- Besides Gaia, Madi hit her knee in a sensible spot before, so I wouldn't recommend to train today.- he pointed to the tiny bandage that Madi had in her leg.

Madi looked at him with gratitude. Gaia admitting defeat said that at least she would keep her company, thing that Madi was actually very happy about.

After a few minutes Madi was explaining to Gaia none stop what she was studying while Jackson took care of a few people that had arrived with some sort of nausea. Gaia was in awe, she hadn't seen Madi that cheerful in weeks, but her face lighted when she was speaking and the worries that she had been having for her were growing. When Madi finished explaining she looked at Gaia who looked concern.

- Why are you looking at me like that?

- Madi .... I know you had been through a lot... and i know you are hiding some things from us. Clarke said that you would eventually tell us by yourself but.... is there something that is bothering you?

- I....- Madi saw that this occasion was better that any other to come clean, and she had taken a decision before, so she decided to let the bomb drop. She took a deep breath and said- I don't want to be the commander anymore.