Shattered: The Sequel to Mirrors

Memory Lane

Dean walked into the house, rubbing the back of his neck. He had ridden home in Baby with Michael, and Michael had caught him up on everything. About how Anna was the angel that killed him, and how she was supposed to keep him away from Castiel. It had worked, to a certain extent. But there was nothing Anna could have done that would have changed the fact that he was in love with Cas. 

"So....how do you feel?" Michael asked. Dean shrugged. 

"Stupid," Dean admitted. Michael wrapped one arm around Dean's shoulder as they walked into the kitchen. 

"We all make stupid decisions. It's not like you had any memories. You didn't know any better," Michael said. "But you can't just continue to ignore your problems because you're too scared to be honest with Cas." Dean wrinkled up his nose. He was still not used to being fathered, but at the same time, he liked it. It was sort of nice to have someone to give him advice, call him out for being an idiot, and picking up the pieces when he messed up. 

"You know...no chick flick moments or anything, but you're pretty great, Michael. Thanks for everything," Dean mumbled. Michael grinned and patted Dean's shoulder. 

"Love you too, kid," Michael said. Dean opened his mouth to say something in response, but Michael cut him off with a yawn. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to get some sleep." Michael turned and walked up the stairs at the same time Gabriel, Sam, Ash and Meg came in. The rest of the gang had gotten back from the movies an hour ago and were now asleep. Castiel followed after them, blue eyes filled with sadness. 

"Come on, Moose," Gabriel said, jumping onto Sam's back. Luckily, Sam had quick reaction time and caught his legs. 

"For being so small, you sure weigh a lot," Sam mumbled. He flashed Dean a smile before heading for the stairs. 

"I'm just so full of love for my Mooseman, that's why I weigh so much," Gabriel said and leaned around to kiss Sam's cheek. 

"I think it's the candy," Sam said. 

"Don't ruin the moment, Samsquatch," Gabriel grumbled. Meg and Ash both smiled at Dean before heading up the stairs. Dean was in the process of making a sandwich when he realized that Castiel was still standing by the door. 

"Hey, Cas, you good?" Dean asked.  Castiel looked up at him. 

"I'm sorry," Castiel mumbled. Dean walked across the living room and rested a hand on Castiel's upper arm. 

"You don't have to be sorry, for anything. I'm the one who should be sorry," Dean said. "I...I wish I could remember you, us...all of this. It would make this all so much easier to figure out in my head." Castiel blinked at Dean. 

"Do you...do you want to remember?" Castiel asked quietly. Dean sighed and slid his hand down Castiel's arm to interlock their fingers. 

"More than anything," Dean admitted. 

"I have a bit of grace left from the other angels. Not enough to do much of anything really, but..." Castiel reached out with his left hand and rested his hand on the side of Dean's face. His eyes started to glow faintly blue, and Dean shut his eyes. 

A forest. And a deer. And then a loud noise and the deer was gone. Dean looked to the sort of the noise. A boy with eyes bluer than he had ever seen.

And a girl with red hair, teasing him on a bus about a boy with amazing sex hair. 

And a girl with dark hair who told him to forget about the one who he loved for a little bit...but even that wasn't enough for him to forget. 

A kiss. Maybe a couple. And weeks of conflict, wndering if he should, if he shouldn't. If he was making a mistake. 

And leaving. 

And then the images were fast, the happiness, the pain, the hurt flowing through him like air through his hair when he road in Baby. He remembered Michael uncomfortably waiting for his reaction when he found out about his relationship with the eldest archangel. He remembered trying to protect Sammy from Gabriel only to realize his brother couldn't have picked someone better. He remembered playing Truth and Dare, swimming in the ocean...he remembered being happy. 

He remembered everything. 

Dean opened his eyes and stared at Castiel. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to ask how he possibly could have forgotten, how much he had missed Castiel, how much he loved him. Instead he just pulled him close and kissed him. 

"I love you, Castiel Novak," he mumbled against the angel's lips. 

"I love you too, Dean Winchester," Castiel said back. 

Eight o'clock in the morning was when everyone decided to get up, which seemed like a good time. The humans were going to have to get back to college soon, and the Winchester-Novak's had to figure out where they were going now, what they were going to do. They finally weren't on the run from any threat, and it should have been a happy moment for Michael. But he was not happy. He was anything but happy. He was going through the boxes again, trying to figure out what to keep and what to leave there. He had decided going back to Oregon was a good idea. He could get Dean enrolled in college, send Alfie, Castiel and Sam back to their high school. He could even probably try to get Gabriel to go to University. He could go back to working at the lumber yard, pick up a hunting case here and there. It seemed like a good way to live the rest of his life. 

But there was something missing. 

He pulled out one of the shirts, vaguely aware of the tears in his eyes. Jesus Christ, when are you going to stop crying? Michael snapped at himself. He knew the answer to that question was never. He wasn't going to be getting over it anytime soon. How could he? He was basically signing himself up for a lifetime of loneliness, because he knew he was never going to be with anyone else. How could he, when he knew what it was like to be with his soulmate? 

He took the shirt and threw it at the wall, eager to do something. He thought about all the things he had done when he was younger and upset. But he wasn't going to drink. He wasn't going to hook up with a random guy, because that would kill him. He climbed to his feet, bending down to pick up the shirt. A note slipped out of the pocket. 

Hey, Mica. You probably found this doing laundry, because you always check the pockets. Just thought I'd let you know your hot ;) And you know, I love you and all that crap.  
                                                                                                                               --Forever yours, Luce

Michael read the note over and over again until he couldn't see through the tears in his eyes. He wasn't planning on hitting the wall. He slammed his fist into the wall and was satisfied by the pain in his knuckles. It was better than getting drunk at some bar and getting in a fight, right? He slammed his fist into the wall again and again, until his knuckles were bleeding and there was a hole in the wall. He sunk to the floor and pulled the note to his chest, sobbing. The door opened and he felt very long arms wrap around him and then a pair of not-quite-as-long arms. 

"We're here for you," Sam said. Michael nodded through his tears. He wanted to wipe his face and pretend like he was doing fine. That was his responsibility, as the adult. He was supposed to take care of everyone else...

"Let us take care of you for once," Dean mumbled as if reading Michael's mind. "That's what family is for." 

Guys! Uh...I think I might be done with this book tomorrow if I get enough time to write. That's awesome!! But also means I have to start planning for my two upcoming fics. Oof...I'm also supposed to be planning for NaNoWriMo. Oh well. 

I have the honor to be your obedient servant.