Faking Feelings (Muke)

Ch. 2 - Second Attempt

"Wait, why the fuck are you reading this?!" Luke asks in annoyance as he yanks the book I was reading- Looking For Alaska- out of my hands from behind.

"Jesus Christ, where the fuck did you come from?" I mutter to myself, turning around to find him staring at the book in confusion.

"Also, why are you sitting here? This is my lunch table" he questions, "I thought I told you to leave me alone, so why haven't seen you left me alone?".

"Hold up, one question at a time" I interrupt him, only to get an annoyed look in return. "I'm reading it because I thought it looked interesting" I say, taking the book from him. "And I came here to talk to you" I add.

"As if" he scoffs, "What are you playing at?!".

"Nothing... I just want to ask you out again" I tell him.

"No" he replies irritably.

"But I-" I say before he cuts me off.

"No, now fuck off" he orders.

"No" I reply simply. With a huff, Luke turns around and storms off. "Luke!" I call out, but he just ignores me.

"Ugh, that prick" I mutter to myself, rubbing my face with my hands in frustration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Stupid Diary,

I want that Luke guy dead...

Well I don't really want him dead... But I do... Ugh, I don't know, he's a prick... Why can't he just say yes?

Just one fucking date with me... I'm sure that would be enough to satisfy Ashton & Calum.

I guess I don't blame Luke for not trusting me though, I did reject him three times last year... That must of hurt him pretty bad...

I guess I'm the prick here, not Luke...

Also, I can't stop thinking about Luke... It's crazy... And annoying...

I want to choke him... Then bring him back to life... I want to push him off a cliff... Then race to the bottom and catch him... I want to shoot him... But jump in front of the bullet before it hits him... I want to push him in front of a car... And then risk my life to push him even further to avoid him getting hit...

But maybe that's just 'cause I'm a good guy... I can't stand hurting people... Yet that's all I do at school... But that's survival... Either you're the victim, or you're the bully...

UGH I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!

I don't even like him!

I can't, I'm not gay... I'm not even sure I like girls... Maybe I'm asexual... Oh god, he's got me questioning my sexuality now...

I need a way to forget him.

... I need my razor back.

- Michael x