Faking Feelings (Muke)

Ch. 26 - Relapse

Dear Stupid Diary,

I feel like I'm going to relapse... Really badly though... I sent Luke a text telling him but I don't think he's awake yet...

I'm kind of scared, I don't know why though... I just have this bad feeling again.... Not a bad feeling like when I wanted to kill myself... But a bad feeling nonetheless...

I just want Luke cuddles :(

- Michael x

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"Is Michael okay?!" I hear Luke ask my mum in a panicked voice after she answered the door, "He isn't replying to me".

"I-Uhh-" mum hesitates, sounding confused, "I think so, he's in the bathroom".

"I need to check on him!" Luke says in a rushed voice.

"Okay" mum says in confusion, "Look, I'm late for work, tell Michael that I've left for me".

"Okay" Luke replies, then I hear the door close, followed by the sound of Luke running in my direction. "MICHAEL!" Luke calls out to me.

I let out another silent sob and cover my tear stained face with my hands. Seconds later, the door bursts open and Luke stops dead in his tracks. "Michael" Luke gasps quietly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I mumble through tears.

"Don't be sorry" Luke says calmly, finally finding his composure, though he seems extremely uneasy. He quickly finds a clean wash cloth and wets it in the sink before kneeling down beside me to clean me up. "You're okay" he says softly, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek as he presses the damp cloth against my arm. "These cuts are pretty deep though" he adds worriedly.

I remain silent as Luke cleans my arms and wraps them in bandages. Unfortunately, I had pressed my bleeding arms up against my favourite shirt- thank god it was mostly black- so Luke has to go find me a new shirt.

When he returns with a clean shirt, he looks extra worried. "Michael-" he says nervously as he kneels down beside me again, "You're bleeding through the bandages".

I glance down at my arms and sure enough, the bandages were almost completely soaked in blood already.

Biting his lip, Luke helps me into my new shirt. "You're looking a little pale, Mike, are you alright?" He asks in concern, glancing down at my arms again.

I just stare at Luke, unable to form the right words to say. I feel myself starting to lose consciousness.

"Michael?" He asks, sounding alarmed. I feel Luke pressing his fingers against my neck, probably checking my pulse, I think.. "Michael, stay awake for me, please!" He begs, suddenly sounding on the verge of tears.

"Why?" I manage to ask in confusion, trying to fight the tiredness washing over me.

"You're losing too much blood, Michael, stay awake, for gods sake!" He says as he jumps to his feet and scoops me up into his arms. "I'm so glad I drove here" I hear him say as he carries me outside.

"L-Luke?" I quietly say in confusion, only half aware that we are already outside.

"Stay awake, Michael!" He repeats as he half puts me down so he can unlock his car.

"Luke" I say weakly as I collapse on the ground.

"Shit" Luke curses as he picks me back up.

"Luke" I choke out as he somehow gets me into the car before rushing around to the drivers seat. "I don't want to die" I tell him in a weak voice.

"I'm not going to let you" Luke says sternly as he starts the car, "Got it?!". I try to look up at him but my eyelids are becoming too heavy.

I feel Luke's lips pressed against mine before blacking out.