"Crikey" | Chanlix

Chapter 24 - truthful

"Hi..." said Felix, his breath shaky as he looked at Chan, watching the older take place beside him on his bed, but with some distance between them.

"Hey," replied Chan, fiddling with his fingers as they both sat in silence for what seemed like ages. It was almost unsettling and heavy, neither of the two in their usual sense of comfort and contentment.

"Thanks for coming," Felix started, pondering on his next words. "We need to talk, Chan," he added, his tone serious yet unsure at the same time.

Readjusting his position so that he was face to face directly with the younger, Chan nodded in acknowledgment before he spoke; no longer fiddling with his fingers out of nervousness.
"It's been overdue," he said, in complete honesty.

"It has," Felix pointed out, before he then sighed exasperatedly; momentarily taking note of Chan's warm gaze; giving him the help he needed to continue. "As much of an ass Minho is... We have to stop dating — I, I mean fake dating," he corrected himself, trying not to trip up on his words.

"We do," Chan agreed, "We have to stop faking it because... I wanna date you for real and denying my feelings has been stupid because all it's done is made me want to be with you more," he added, shaking his head as he gave out a breathy laugh at the way he acted.

"I'm sick of pretending I don't really love you and I don't wanna be with you because, fucking hell... I do. I don't care if there's an annoying cousin and a bunch of consequences for what we've done because nothing will feel as bad if I have you with me to get through it," he confessed, taking ahold of Felix's hand in his own as he blinked away tears threatening to fall.

.
.
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"I love you too,"

Felix said, his voice ever so quiet but his statement loud and clear. His eyes were teary - exactly like the older boy's - as well as his grip on Chan's hand tight. "I've missed you so much these past weeks," he admitted, choking back a small sob before he continued. "When I first moved here, you were the first person to greet me in school and since then I've never felt so comfortable with anyone... Not like with you, Channie."

"I hate how distant we've been... It hurts," Felix finished explaining as a tear fell. The room had felt so cold the whole time, until the next thing Felix knew he was pulled into an all too familiar, warm embrace.

"I'm sorry, baby," Chan mumbled, letting a few of his own tears fall. He heard the younger respond with something of his own apology before he pulled Felix back; softly cupping his cheeks in his hands as he wiped away what remained of the younger Aussie's tears.

"Can we... Can we please be us? For real?" Felix then asked, his lips unconsciously forming into a pout.

"Hell yeah we can," Chan responded, chuckling lightly as he watched a bright smile make its way on Felix's face; soaking in the moment longer before he kissed the younger boy deeply, the two of them holding each other like it would be the last time.

Felix wrapped his arms around Chan's neck, soon shuffling to sit himself on the older boy's lap as their lips moved in sync. Their sweet, reconciling kiss lasted a moment longer; before the two then resorted to laying down and cuddling, only focusing on each other and solely each other; basking in contentment.

"God," mumbled Felix, leaning closer into Chan's embrace. "I don't think I'll ever get over how comfy you and your hoodies are," he stated, earning a soft chuckle from the older boy; causing Felix to feel the light vibrations as his head was rested in the crook of Chan's neck.

"I don't think I'll ever get over how soft your hair is," the older Aussie responded, nuzzling into Felix's hair afterwards. "It's like a pillow. Or a cloud, if I knew what they felt like," he mumbled towards the end, getting lost in the softness of Felix's hair; getting lost in the feeling of holding Felix.

"Yeah..." the younger blond quietly responded, way too indulged in the feeling of Chan's embrace. The older boy's arm was draped loosely over Felix's small figure, yet his hand could be felt by Felix, resting on his part of his bare thigh that showed, causing Felix to hum in contentment mixed with delight at the feeling of Chan gently rubbing his fingers across the exposed skin; in little circles or occasional random patterns.

"I'll honestly study more if it means cuddles afterwards," said Felix, eliciting another chuckle from the older boy.

"Me, too," he said in agreement. "It's more relaxing than I would've thought," he admitted. On hearing this, Felix chose not to press himself closer into Chan's embrace (if possible) but rather decided to pull himself back, to slightly lean over the older boy and examine his expression.

"Really?" Felix then questioned. "You've never cuddled with anyone? Not even friends?" he added as he carefully ran his fingers through Chan's hair, awaiting his answer.

Soon, the older blond gave a thoughtful hum. "Not really, I suppose. Changbin isn't the affectionate type and you know what Seungmin's like with affection," he said, playfully yet truthfully.

Felix hummed as he nodded, still playing with Chan's hair. "Yep. If you're not Jeongin then no affection from Seungmin," he stated, clarifying the older boy's implications.

"Yup," Chan said, popping the 'p' and grinning softly as he felt a gentle kiss being placed atop his head before Felix once again shuffled to get himself back into the older boy's embrace.

"God, we're so right all the time," the younger boy witted, resulting in a small yet hearty laugh from the older.

"Exactly," he said, shuffling around to fit Felix's small hand in his own and raise both of their hands slightly to compare the difference - even though he'd done it a thousand times - "That's us... Chanlix."

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that special chapter from earlier really was a special chapter, hm? 
🌝
🤡
- k