The outsider

Chapter 43

I woke up slowly as I realized I was in the hospital. I groaned as the lights hit my eyes and the pain came rushing over me. "Hey you good?" I looked over and saw sodapop laying in a hospital bed, he looked like shit. He had a black eye, a broken nose, and cuts all around his face. "The question is are you good?" He laughed, "Yeah. Not the first beating I got." I sat up and held my jaw, "My face feels like it's on fire." "Yeah it should, you broke your nose." "What?" "Yeah, buck hit you pretty good." I sighed and layed back down, "Great." "I'm sorry I got you in this mess." I looked back at soda, "Don't apologize for bucks bad behavior." Soda chuckled, "All of bucks behavior is bad." "Yeah." I said sadly, "I'm so sorry he did that to you." "Hey, if I can't apologize then you can't either." I smiled as sodas words made me feel safe. "Besides he wouldn't have done that if I didn't show up." "Why did you show up?" He took a deep breath, "You basically broke up with Darry, and stormed out. I was making sure you were okay." I couldn't help but cry as I remembered why I was at Bucks. "Ha. I almost forgot about that." Soda slowly sat up and got out of his bed and made his way over to mine, where he sat on it and let me cuddle into his side as I cried. "It's okay kourtney. Darry knows you didn't mean it." Soda wrapped his arms around me, I looked up into his swollen eyes. "He knows your hurt, just give it time. Everything will go back to normal." He smiled, "Soda." I said and pulled away from him so I could sit up as well. "I don't want things to go back to normal." "What do you mean?" "I meant what I said... I... I don't want to be with Darry anymore." He looked shocked, "W-why not?"  "Soda-" "If this is about Rebecca your letting her win! That's what she wants, she wants you to be miserable with out him-" "But I'm miserable when I'm with him soda!" I cried more, "Darry has hurt me physically and emotionally, I mean He bought a house with out telling me, he has lied to my face more times then I can count, he's had anger outbursts sense the day I met him, and he fucking slept with my twin sister! I... I can't go through that anymore."

"So. Your just going to give up on him? Just like that?" I sighed and wipped my tears. "I've be with Darry for 12 years, and I've giving him chance after chance after chance to figure out what his problem is and fix it, but he hasn't. I can't go another 12 years reliving the same mistakes."

Soda took a deep breath and took my hand in his. "You love him." "I do and I will always love him. I'm just not... in love with him anymore, and I can't be with someone who I'm not in love with." Soda and I Hurd a thud and looked at the doorway to see what the Noise was, it was Darry who had dropped a Bouquet of flowers onto the floor. "Darry." I said softly, he had tears in his eyes and looked at soda and I With disbelieve.

"Your not in love with me anymore?" "Darry." I stood up and slowly walked to him, "That's not how I wanted to tell you." He scuffed, "So you were gunna tell me after you hooked up with my brother?!" I looked over at soda and then back at Darry, "No! There's nothing going on with soda and I dar-" "Bull shit! Your leaving me for him. Fuck you kourtney." He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to me, "Darry. Please, I don't want things to be bad between us-" "Just... give me some space." I sighed as he walked out of the room. I looked down at the box as tears fell down my cheeks, and they only increased as I opened the box to find my wedding ring. "Are you okay?" Soda pleases his hand on my shoulder, but I wrapped my arms around his chest and hugged him. "I didn't want to hurt him." "I know." He kissed my head and ran his fingers through my hair as he held me close to him. "I know." I let soda comfort me on the middle of the hospital room as I cried over a broken heart.

"Mommy?" Jenna asked as I put her to bed a few weeks later. "Yeah?" "How come you and daddy don't sweep in the same bed anymore?" I took a deep breath. "I can't lie to you baby, so promise me you'll be a big girl when I tell you this." She sat up and smiled, "I promise mommy." "Mommy and daddy are-" "Getting divorced." I turned around and saw my son standing there. "Come here DJ." He walked over an DJ day on the bed next to his sister. "What's divorced?" Jenna asked, "It means mommy and daddy aren't going to be together anymore." "What!? No more daddy!" Jenna started to cry but I hugged her and laughed. "No. You'll still have daddy, and you'll still have mommy, but we just won't sleep in the same bed anymore." She pulled away and wipped her tears. "Why?" I opened my mouth but DJ cut me off. "They don't love each other anymore." I looked at DJ with wide eyes, "I Hurd Uncle pony and Dad talking." I sighed, "Mommy and daddy... don't love each other anymore?" Jenna pulled Away from me, Once again I sighed. "I love your dad, and he loves me, but it's not the same anymore. Things change, but you know what doesn't change." "What?" They both said, "I'm your mom, and he's your dad, and no matter what happens between me and him it will never change how much we love you." Jenna hugged me, "I love you to mommy."

I closed jennas bedroom door after She asked DJ to sleep with her for the night. I sighed as tears ran down my cheeks. "You okay?" I turned and and sodapop standing there with a small smile, "No." I sniffled,
"I just told my kids that I'm divorcing their father." He opened his arms and let me hug him. "Well, you've got the hardest part down." I laughed and wipped my tears as I pulled away. "Yeah I guess." "Hey. Why don't we go out for dinner tonight, you know like old times?" I smiled, "Yeah. That might be the highlight of my week." "Come on."

"Sodapop you can't say that!" I said with a fit of laughter as we sat at the dinner. "Well it's the truth, Steve told me." "Leave two alone, he's just a big kid." "Yeah and we love him for it." I placed my hand on the table and sighed, "Yeah we do." I looked away from soda as memories of me being pregnant and staying at Twos came back. "Hey, you okay?" Soda grabbed my hand dragging my attention to him. His blue eyes shined with care and protection, he looked at me as if he was searching in my eyes for any sign of discomfort from me, My heart raced at his concern for me. "Yeah. I'm okay soda, I'm more then okay." I squeezed his hand as a smile came across his face. "Can I take your... order?" I pulled away from soda and cleared my throat as I looked at the waiter. It was our neighbor Amber. "Yeah, two milkshakes and a large fry." Soda said, she looked at me and cleared her throat. "You got it. By the way Where's Darry at? I haven't seen him in a while." Both sodapop and I moved around uncomfortably, "At work... or something." I said softly, she smiled. "Okay, oh and sodapop I just wanted to say that your a great brother-In-Law. Anybody would be lucky to have you as thier brother... In law." She smiled. "Okay. Let me put that order in." As she walked away soda sighed, "What was that about?" I frowned, "Really soda?" "What? I'm confused." "She thinks we're together." He swallowed hard, but didn't say a word, and for the rest of the dinner nobody spoke.

On the drive home I couldn't help but think about sodapop. I thought about his Eyes, his personality, his laugh, his body. Every bone in my body was wanting me to speak to him, just so I could hear his sexy raspy voice. Then it hit me, like a brick. I knew why this was happening, hell I've known it for a long time. "Why are we stopping?" He asked as I pulled over on the bridge, I got out with out a word. "Hey! Kourtney!" I looked over the edge at the lake. "Kourtney is this-" "The lake that I drowned in? Yeah." I looked at Sodapop, "Wow." He said with a long sigh, Silents fell between us as we looked over to the lake. "You know what they say is true. Your life really does flash before your eyes when your dying." I felt his gaze on me but I stayed focus on the lake. "All the mistakes and things you wish you had done." I chuckled, "Thoes are the things you focus on the most, and out of thoes things there was one thing that caught my eye, Something that I didn't see clearly till now." "What was it?" I looked at Soda, "It was you."

His eyes softened at my words and he couldn't help but smile, "Every moment that we spent together. Every laugh and every smile we shared, from the diner where we met to that night where I had said goodbye. I replayed every moment." I grabbed his hand and held it in mine, "And the feeling of regret washed over me... because I didn't get to tell you what I so deeply wanted to." "What was that?" His was was hopeful and fearful at the same time, I smiled to reassure him.

"I'm in love with you Sodapop." He let out a sigh of relieve as his eyes filled with tears. "Kourtney... you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words come out of your mouth." I laughed as tears welled up in my own eyes, "But." He let go of me and backed away, "This isn't right kourtney." I licked my lips and took in a sharp breath. "Soda. I've done many things in my life that people have told me we're wrong, but I did them anyway because it's my life." I took a step forward. "I won't be told what's supposed to be right, that's my choice, and right now. I think kissing you is... right." Sodapop didn't need to be told twice.

He made the distance between us none existence as he pulled me close to him and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. This kiss was unlike any kiss I've ever had, it was full of love and longing, of fear and relieve. It was slow and steady as we held each other close, terrified to let go or to wake up from this dream. 

We pulled away to breath but didn't let go of each other, he just laid his forehead upon mine. "I love you kourtney." I smiled, "I love you to Sodapop." With that we kissed again. "Wait." Soda said, he slowly pulled away a tiny bit and took my left hand into his right hand. "What about Darry and the kids and-" "Sodapop." He looked at me, "I love Darry, I do but, he cheated on me... and broke my heart. I don't think he'll ever win back my trust. As for the kids, they will be confused, but they'll get used to it. I love you Sodapop, and I want to be with you." He smiled, "I want to be with you to." "Then kiss me." I couldn't help but smile as soda pulled me closer and kissed me once more.