A New Fudal Fairytale. InuYasha And Kagome

The Missing Piece

I was happy.
If you could describe happy, what would it look like? Sound like? Would I hear happiness in your voice as you told me about it? Would there be something that you still longed for?
I didn't know if it was knowing he was holding back that was making me feel that something was missing, or knowing that we might have a while to wait for a child... somehow though, I felt that the two things were connected.
Trust.
He trusted me enough to fight by his side, enough to open up to me about his fears... his past. We had even spent a quiet evening speaking about Kikyo. Normally that would have made me cautious or a little jealous at least... but it didn't. He was open with me. Honest about his true feelings. I felt honored and loved that he felt he could share with me.
We were well into winter. Many of the villagers were saying that it was a bad one. Kaede had begun sleeping at our cottage, but during the day, she would return home. I worried for her. We had more than enough room for her to live with us full time, the guys had built plenty of extra space for Kaede and Shippo to reside, but neither would hear of it. Shippo decided to stay over winter at the fox demon school.
I was trying to find things to do not only to distract myself, but to be useful. Throwing the half finished basket away from me in disgust, I sighed. It looked fine, my heart just wasn't in it. I layed my head down on the table and closed my eyes.
When I woke up I heard Miroku speaking quietly with InuYasha. It was hard to make out a lot of what they were saying. There was a roaring fire in the huge hearth and the wind was blowing up a storm outside.
"...trust her InuYasha."
"I do, more than I have ever trusted anyone...."
InuYashas voice dipped and I didn't hear the next bit.
"Then try t-"
"I don't trust my demon side!" He raised his voice, sounding near panic. I could almost feel their eyes on me as there was a pause in the conversation.
"She understands more than you give her credit for, and she's always been able to hold your Yokai in check. I think you should let her show you. She's your other half, let her prove it. Share your full self." There was another pause.
"I need to go, I promised to take the girls while Sango went to her old village."
A moment later I heard the door close and used that as a reason to 'wake up'. I stood and went to him. He looked up at me, a mix of emotions on his face. I started to sit down next to him, but he pulled me into his lap instead. His arms wound tightly around me and I felt him relax as he let out a breath. I layed my ear over his heart and listened to its steady rhythm.
We were still there an hour later when Kaede came in, latching the door behind her. A flurry of snow had followed her in and melted quickly on the warm floor. Kaede shivered and giving us a long contented look, went to her room and closed the door.
"Kagome," He said my name quietly.
"Mmmhmmm." I answered, nuzzling his robe.
"You know that I have been fighting inside myself, everytime we are together, walking a fine line between safty and trust."
I nodded against him, grabbing his hamaka and making a fist.
His arms gently squeezed me. "I dont... I don't know if I can give you what you want Kagome."
I slowly look up at him. "InuYasha... I-"
"Please don't tell me it's ok, I see that far away look in your eyes, when you are playing with the kids... when you begged Shippo to stay. I feel your longing, your discontentment."
I shrugged. He wouldn't look at me for a moment, I knew he would though, but when his eyes finally met mine I felt my heart drop. "Don't you dare." I felt hysteria rising. "After everything we fought through, after three years of misery from being appart... don't you dare pull away from me now. I-I ...." I swallow the lump in my throat. "I don't want to spend another day without you."
"But I don't know if-"
"And I'm willing to wait! To take things on faith!" I interrupted. "I waited four years to be with you, longer to hear 'I love you' from your lips. I'm not giving up, never letting go! Look at me!" I said the last bit too harshly, but his ears had swiveled back and his eyes were on the floor. He looked at me.
"You deserve more." He said quietly.
"I'm glad you feel that way." I replied, feeling my love for him overtake that panicked feeling. "Maybe you deserve someone you can be yourself with." I turned his words on him and saw that stream of thought being processed. He pulled me up tighter, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head vigorously no. His silvery hair settled all around us. I plucked at a strand, weaving it around my fingers.
"I want you to stop fighting this InuYasha. Stop trying to make me happy. I am happy. Stop trying to force yourself to do something for someone else's sake." I took his chin in my free hand. "Stop chewing on your lip and look at me. You are making it bleed."
His lips softly grazed mine.
"I belong to you." I whispered into his mouth. He smiled. His lips teased mine again, so I lifted up and connected with him. There was an electric pulse that went through me when I tasted his blood. I gasped and pulled back... his feelings were swirling inside me... doubt, fear...love. They were masculine, foreign and strong.
"InuYasha... does that happen to you when...."
"What?" He looked confused.
"Your blood." I stroked his lip, his eyes going wide.
"Yeah."
There was an electric current flowing around us, tingling everywhere we touched. Reaching up, I tangled my hand in his hair, pulling him down. I wasn't gentle. When our mouths collided, I felt that swirling inside again, stronger, like a bright light warming me from the inside.
His love overwhelmed me. Tears of joy flowed from my eyes, my whole being was singing. We were engulfed in this moment.
When his lips left mine, time slowed, the light draining slowly but not entirely. We looked at each other in amazement.
"It's never been like that...never so..."
"Big." I finished his thought.
"Yeah, keh."
Our world had shifted and things were about to change.