"Meant for me"

"Sadness"

" As I sat quietly still at that moment all I could do was think of my true love ,he had been more than that ,he was my soulmate the only one I ever wanted to be with in life ' just picturing him so beautiful in every single way ,it had hurt me so much not knowing why he had left me ,I gave him something so precious to me ,I could still hear his soft spoken strong voice,his caresses all over every inch of my body the way he kissed my breasts ever so gently, teasing them in countless pleasure" he was the one " I knew this to be true ! I could feel it coursing through my heart " but at the same time I was saddened by this' I had felt tears running down my cheeks ,warm tears ' I can't believe I'd no longer see him nor would I feel his touches or kisses again' my heart started pounding harder' the more & more I thought of him those feelings became worse ,anger started setting in ... Whyyyyyyyyyy!!! Pulling at my dress as if I we're a spoiled child ,I had kept asking the same question with no damn explanation at all !! How could he possibly do this to me !I could never LOVE someone as deeply as I loved him ,he said he had adored my big blue eyes ' he said they had sparkled in such a way under the moonlight,my lips were rosey & so perfect,my curly red hair ' he said the way I had looked at him while we made love ,he knew that I would love him eternally as he would love me eternally" his very presence made my whole body quiver " it was something I wanted to cherish forever... Suddenly I started hearing something out in the distant night howling could it possibly be that? Coyote's maybe? Has to be what else was there ' I was scared for myself what if they come & rip me apart ,oh no ! What shall I do ,well I guess it wouldn't be so bad , I'd rather the wild animals tear me apart than to have my heart feel this way anymore' I didn't really care , really I didn't, life didn't mean anything to me what so ever ..... Damn it! the tears kept running down my cheeks,just let them come for me and be done with it already! This retched life is miserable anyway!! What was life without him ? Nothing , nothing at all ' I gave him something so precious to me & he just threw it away like it never mattered to him at all! Clutching my chest , hurting so terribly ' I was hoping this was the end for me ,I couldn't bare such sorrow anymore...He (Killian had been my life) no more he wasn't.. Asking God to take me & take me now ' I'm begging you from the bottom of my soul please God answer my silent prayer!! Please , nothing matters as of this moment ' only he could end my suffering ,let the hungry & wild animals take me!!! I beg of you!I yelled as loud as I could!! Come and take me!! Take me now damn you whatever or whom ever you are!!! I felt my heart pound so hard I couldn't hardly breathe,as long as my heart still beats for him I surely will never stop loving him,more tears ran down my face " crunching & crunching I heard through the moonlit forest floor" getting closer and closer!